Category Archives: Writing

The Future of Mental Health Awareness (Month)

I wrote my reflections on mental health awareness and prevention as an Op-Ed piece and pasted it below.

The Future of Mental Health Awareness

As we exit Mental Health Awareness Month version 2026, I’m already anticipating May 2027. It’s time to rethink, rebrand, and reboot mental health awareness and prevention.

Think about it. Can you name a single mental disorder that, in your lifetime, has decreased in significance?

Depression? Anxiety? ADHD? Bipolar? As a mental health professional for the past 45 years, I’ve watched mental disorders in America stubbornly increase, despite more national, state, and local mental health awareness and prevention programs than ever before.

Mental health awareness and prevention are failing for multiple reasons, none of which are the fault of all the compassionate, hard-working, and well-intended people involved with mental health prevention. More likely, our collective failure begins with confusion over how to define mental health. Most Americans use “mental health” to describe mental health problems, mental disorders, or mental illness. Mental health is supposed to be positive and include joy, happiness, meaning, and mutually supportive relationships.

Instead, even the term “mental health prevention” is awkwardly phrased. Wait. Does mental health prevention mean we’re preventing mental health? Ironically, that might be exactly what we’re doing.

Without a positive vision of mental health, we’re left trying to manage, eliminate, or run from negative symptoms. Mental health should be something positive to strive toward. How about we start with the World Health Organization’s (WHO) definition of mental health? “A state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn and work well, and contribute to their community.”

Pretend for a moment that you’re a young person. You have two options. You can enroll in a program designed to reduce your anxiety and depression. Or you can enroll in a program designed to help you strive toward happiness, meaning, and realizing your abilities. Of course, this is a false dichotomy, but which direction do you find more hopeful and inspiring?

We also need to stop using unidimensional slogans to bludgeon community mental health from bad to better. Mental health awareness is a great example. Too much awareness of negative symptoms is not a good thing. More on this soon.

Research indicates that school-based mental health programs can adversely affect students. Providing prevention programming that simultaneously helps all students is a worthy, but unrealistic goal. Because preference is a powerful determinant of effective therapy, students might be better served by choosing from a menu of indirect mental health education activities.

Contemporary prevention programs also ignore several basic psychological principles.

When young people begin learning about mental disorders, a natural and powerful process begins. First, they learn about psychiatric symptoms. Then, they’re told these symptoms represent mental illnesses. Inevitably, they see these symptoms in themselves (or their friends) and begin self-diagnosing. Sometimes, the labels help explain their experiences and youth experience temporary relief. Who’s not reassured to learn that social anxiety is a thing? But, when the label gets too closely linked to identity, diagnosis becomes self-limiting. Students think: “I can’t pay attention because I have ADHD” or “My anxiety stops me from having fun and being around people.” And, because labels are sticky, it becomes difficult for young people (and adults) to shake the label and pursue their potential.

As you read these words, thousands of American youth are learning about their so-called mental disorders in at least two ways: on social media (via Tik-Tok, in particular) and through school-based mental health literacy/awareness workshops. More awareness and more information can make mental health worse—especially if the information is inaccurate or not applied with sensitivity and nuance.

Another psychological principle operates to sustain and deepen negative labeling. Like everyone, young people are inclined toward “confirmation bias.” They easily find evidence for their pre-existing beliefs while discarding evidence inconsistent with their pre-existing beliefs. If I believe I have anxiety and my anxiety limits my ability to participate in social activities, I will become skilled at noticing when my anxiety is adversely affecting me, while dismissing evidence that I’m strong and resilient enough to socialize with my peers.

What we pay attention to grows. Although my teenage clients would respond to this statement with “duh,” prevention programs ignore this concept by paying far too much attention to what’s wrong. We will not shrink problems by paying more attention to them. This is fundamental brain science. The more we focus on and talk about our problems, the better we become at focusing on and talking about our problems. The famous neuroscientist Donald Hebb put it this way: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” The more we think about our problems, the more we’re teaching our brain to think about our problems. Soon, it becomes automatic, and you’ll be thinking about your problems all day long.

For 2027, let’s reboot mental health. Let’s redefine mental health as a positive emotional, psychological, and relational state. Then, let’s help young (and older) people develop strengths, skills, empathic relationships, positive experiences, and resources to successfully pursue positive mental health.

Together, we can turn Mental Health Awareness Month into a collective experience of joy and wellbeing for everyone.

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John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and founding director of the Phyllis J. Washington Center for the Advancement of Positive Education at the University of Montana. He is coauthor of 10 books and many professional articles. The opinion expressed here is solely that of John Sommers-Flanagan and does not represent his current or former employers. You can email your thoughts to: john.sf@mso.umt.edu. For more information, go to https://johnsommersflanagan.com/ or https://www.umt.edu/education/cape

The Secret Retreat

Yesterday, Tammy Tolleson Knee (the new director of the Phyllis J. Washington Center for the Advancement of Positive Education) and I arrived in Kalispell, Montana for a 2+ day retreat with staff from the Nate Chute Foundation (NCF). Their mission: The Nate Chute Foundation supports, educates and empowers our community to promote mental wellness and reduce suicide. You can learn more about NCF’s fabulous work and staff right here: https://www.natechutefoundation.org/

Our retreat is top secret, but I’ll share it here anyway because I don’t like secrets.

Having grown weary with traditional, pathology-oriented approaches to “suicide prevention” we’re working together to create a new curriculum tentatively titled “Strengths-Based Suicide Education for Concerned Adults.” Our plan is to use this new curriculum to replace all the unhelpful and sometimes traumatizing approaches to suicide prevention.

Yes, we have big goals.

Today we’re breaking away from our retreat for a short presentation/consult with Immanuel Living of Kalispell.

In preparation for this short conversation, I pulled out an old slide about a thing called Stress Inoculation Training (thanks Don Meichenbaum!).

The point of SIT is to prepare for stressors or provocations in life that adversely affect us. For example, let’s say that you find ___________ stressful. (You can put anything in the blank. It could be exercise, talking with your boss, going to church, not going to church, speaking in public meetings, etc.). Then you create your own personalized stress inoculation plan.

Meichenbaum’s therapy approach is designed to prep or inoculate us from our usual and predictable stressors. He described three steps: (1) preparation for provocation, (2) coping with the provocative situation, and (3) reflection and self-reinforcement. Here’s a visual, with our stressors and responses organized into 7 dimensions:

If we all had rational brains and lived in a rational world, SIT would work perfectly for everyone. But like everything, it doesn’t always work. During today’s talk, I’m revealing the secrets of why our best laid plans often fail. Newsflash: it has to do with our quirky brains, which, although amazing, also automatically and regularly take us down into negative thinking rabbit holes.

TBH, IMHO, dipping into a negative thinking rabbit hole every once in a while can be fun, but if your intention was to avoid negative thinking rabbit holes, they’re considerably less fun.

Unfortunately, due to time limits and the need for mystery in marketing, this blog is ending without me sharing the five secrets of why our pesky brains often derail us from our positive intentions. Sorry about that. They’re in the pdf of the ppts linked below, and although you can find them there, it’s much more fun for us to talk about these in person . . . so I hope to see you at a presentation in the future.

Who Is Seth Bodnar?

The following content was published as an Op-Ed piece. I’ve added it here because of access issues. This is a general reflection on Seth Bodnar. Later, I’ll respond to specific questions that have been raised about him. Thanks for reading.

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In the jungle of social media, I’ve seen many opinions about Seth Bodnar, an independent candidate for U.S. Senate. Because these opinions are often from people who barely know Seth, they’re naturally speculative. In contrast, I’m offering my own admittedly biased perspective. I’ve known, worked with, and been related to Seth for over 22 years.

People have asked, “Why is Seth Bodnar running for the U.S. Senate?” Seth is running for the same reasons he went to West Point, graduated #1 in his class, served in Iraq, and was awarded the Bronze Star and Meritorious Service Medal. The answer: Duty and service.

Seth is guided by an unwavering commitment to service and duty. Unlike some high-ranking military people featured repeatedly in the media, Seth is anti-swagger. He won’t brag about having an Army Ranger Tab, Special Operations Diver Badge, Parachutist Badge, Air Assault Badge, a low golf score, or having been president of Montana’s flagship university. He’ll just get to work so he can be of service.

True, Seth can be boring! If you’re with him in a locker room and hoping for spicy conversations about women or demeaning gossip, you’ll be disappointed. Seth’s idea of locker room talk involves talking over parenting books he’s read, cool research that UM faculty are doing, or macro- and microeconomic concepts (he has two master’s degrees from Oxford University, one in Economic and Social History).  

Conversations with Seth usually turn toward how he can become a better father, better leader, better husband, and better person. His self-improvement goals reflect his genuine desire to help other people become the best versions of themselves. He wants a safer, healthier, and economically prosperous Montana for all Montanans, including Indigenous people, farmers, ranchers, veterans, university professors, and everyone else.

You might wonder how I know these things about Seth Bodnar and why I believe in him as a potential United States Senator?

Seth married my stepdaughter, Dr. Chelsea Bodnar. Chelsea is a force in her own right; a Rhodes Scholar, a Harvard-trained pediatrician, and usually one of the smartest people in the room. I could go on about Chelsea’s accomplishments, but this is about Seth and whether he’s U.S. Senate material. Just for the record: Seth chose to marry an equal.

Seth left the military to work at General Electric and have more time with his family. While at GE, Seth often talked about employment that offered him greater meaning and better opportunities to be a positive influence on American youth. So, when the UM presidency became available, I texted him the same day, encouraging him to apply. He said he didn’t think he was qualified. I told him he should apply and let the hiring committee decide. . .and they did.

Seth was my boss at UM for 8 years. I watched as critiques rolled in before he stepped on campus. Morale was low. Enrollment had collapsed. COVID hit. Seth stayed steady. Morale and enrollment improved. He earned our respect, even though university faculty are notoriously cantankerous and critical.

One of Seth’s central values is captured by his UM motto, “Inclusive prosperity.” Let that sink in. For Seth, it means creating meaningful educational and vocational opportunities for everyone, so everyone has a chance for success, and everyone can contribute to the greater state, national and global good.

Seth has a moral compass. I’ve watched him follow that compass for 22 years. His true north is duty and service. He has not and will not favor the elite, engage in degrading locker room talk, or dehumanize other human beings. Period. Seth Bodnar will show up every day ready to work for a more educated, equitable, compassionate, free, and civil society.

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John Sommers-Flanagan obtained his Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Montana in 1986. He is a former professor in the department of counseling and coauthor of 10 books. The opinion expressed here is solely that of John Sommers-Flanagan and does not represent his current or former employers.

Therapy with Men and Boys

As a senior in high school, I had a chance to say a few words at the annual football awards banquet. Apparently, my stammering and stuttering through two whole minutes were so inspiring that afterward, an assistant coach took me aside and offered seven words of feedback, “You need to take a speech class.”

His words sunk in. I was a terrible and inarticulate speaker. But did I take his advice? Nope. I was too scared to even try to get better at public speaking.

Fast forward 51 years. Now I speak all the time. In one of my most recent speaking gigs, David Shepard and Erica Liebman had me on their very cool podcast called, “Therapy with Men and Boys.”

On the podcast, we talked about men and boys and therapy and suicide. We talked so much they made my appearance into two episodes. And David, whose work I respect a ton, told me, “Your comfort in front of a mic is really impressive. I can imagine how much your students liked your classes in your teaching days.” 

Thanks David! What a difference 51 years makes.

I share this story because things change with time. . .and I’m hoping (in the sociocultural-political realms) that time will change some things (for the better).

If you’re interested in therapy in general and therapy with men and boys in particular, I’m sharing links to part 1 and 2 of the podcast; they’re about 35 minutes each.

In the first part we talk about suicide in men/boys/males: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-08-40-000-male-suicides-a-year-re-thinking/id1793567491?i=1000752371768

In the second part David does a rather challenging role play with me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-09-part-ii-on-assessing-for-suicide-with/id1793567491?i=1000758738724

Happy Easter Sunday. I hope you are being as well as you can be in these challenging times.

John

Tough Kids, Cool Counseling — In Polson, MT

Good morning.

Tammy, Dylan, and I are on our way to Polson, MT this morning to provide a 6-hour workshop on Counseling Youth.

The workshop title, “Tough Kids, Cool Counseling,” is a remnant of days gone by. Back in 1996, as Rita and I were driving from Missoula to Absarokee, we came up with that title, which we published as a book in 1997. The second edition came out in 2007.

For many years, we argued about who came up with what we considered a very nice title. I thought it was my idea. Rita thought it was hers. We were both equally shocked at each others’ claims. Have you ever had that experience with a romantic partner?

But, a few years after publishing the second edition, I gave up all claims to the title, because I suddenly realized that the title was neither nice nor cool. Constructing youth problems as “in them” was not good and not right. The title labeled the youth as “tough,” in essence, blaming them for their problems.

For the past two decades, I’ve seen youth problems differently. Now, I avoid using the phrase “Tough kids.” Instead, I advocate for framing the issues as “kids in tough life and personal situations.” I’ve decided that going to counseling is just another tough situation that many youth are forced into.

So why am I still using this title? I use it because I like to make the point–after using the phrase Tough Kids for the first five minutes–that I’ve stopped using it and that I won’t use it for the rest of the presentation and that we should all give it up together, and not even THINK about tough kids.

With that fun anecdote out of the way, I’m looking forward to a fun day of mutual learning with therapists who work for the Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes. And. . .here’s a pdf of the very long powerpoint slide deck.

Interested in Expansion and Collaboration of Happiness for Educators?

Hello from Montana where we continue to offer and collect data on our evidence-based “Happiness for Educators” course.

Although we’re in the process of updating the following abstract (see below) with fancier stats, for now, it’s a solid summary of our outcomes to date. You’ll notice our depression outcomes (g = 0.59) are not far from worldwide estimates of counseling and psychotherapy outcomes for depression (see Harrer et al., 2025; estimated effect size for depression treatment is g = 0.73)

I’m writing today with expansion and collaboration on my mind.

If any of you academics, educators, or practitioners out there are interested in offering the Happiness for Educators course in your state, or if you happen to be interested in research collaboration, please email me: john.sf@mso.umt.edu. We’ve got a good thing going (who’s against having happier and healthier educators?) and would love to begin scaling up (within our capacity).

Abstract

Purpose: Using an approach grounded in happiness research, this study contributes to the literature on strategies for supporting educator well-being. Educators deserve good health; when educators have better health, students benefit. We developed and evaluated the effectiveness of a three-credit, graduate-level, online and asynchronous evidence-based “Happiness for Educators” course on educator well-being, mental health, and physical health.

Research Methods/Approach: Using a pre-experimental design with five repeated cohorts, we evaluated pre-post course changes on six different well-being, mental health, and physical health questionnaires with 17 end-point outcomes. Across five cohorts, 266 of 293 (90.8%) educators completed the course. We evaluated outcomes using paired t-tests.

Findings: After using a Bonferroni adjustment for multiple comparisons, educators completing the course reported statistically significant improvements (p < .002) on all 17 outcomes. These outcomes included measures of positive and negative affect, hope, depression, mindfulness, and physical health. Large to medium effect sizes (using Hedge’s g) were obtained on the following outcomes:

  1. Positive affect, (g = .802)
  2. Total health, (g = .719)
  3. Negative affect, (g = .705)
  4. Depression (g = 590)
  5. Total hope (g = .568)
  6. Sleep (g = .556)
  7. Mindfulness, (g = .542).

Overall, course participation was linked to a 60.8% reduction in depression rates.

Implications: Implications that can be drawn from a pre-experimental exploratory study are limited. However, these outcomes suggest that an asynchronous, online graduate-level course on positive psychology (aka happiness) has potential for improving educators’ well-being, mental health, and physical health. Future research on this approach is recommended. 

Let me know your thoughts!

John SF

The Theories Series: What’s New in the 4th Edition?

Today I found a creepy AI audio summary of the 3rd edition of our theories text. Maybe I should have liked it, because it was super-glowing. But the AI voice overweening on my behalf felt wrong.

In contrast, the following content is real and excerpted from our forthcoming 4th edition of Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice

To continue with the creepy, the following is what was generated when I asked ChatGPT to create an image of itself.

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Theories and lenses are tools we use to make sense of our complicated world. We’re not saying that the world is more complicated in 2026 than it was 23 years ago, when the first version of this text was published, but the proliferation of information in the modern digital age means that there’s more to sift through than our brains can handle. We hope this text provides you with intellectual structure, insights, practical tools, and fun companionship on your road to understanding and engaging in counseling and psychotherapy. 

While walking across the University of Montana campus the other day (which is beautiful on any day, but especially during the fall here in Montana), we noticed an annual tradition on campus had recurred—a fresh, large, orange pumpkin was placed on the top of a spire on University Hall, over 100 feet above the ground, just in time for Halloween. The impossibly steep roof of the clock tower, and the brazenness of putting a fresh gourd up there each year (for decades!) leads to speculation—let’s call them theories—about how a pumpkin could possibly make it on top of the spire.

Is it a renegade group of rock climbers who scale the building each October? Is the University somehow complicit in keeping the tradition alive while sternly warning students not to climb the building? With advancements in drone technology, has someone figured out how to hoist a heavy pumpkin and drop it on that precise point? Is it a 3-D optical phenomenon that doesn’t exist other than in socially constructed reality?

Which theory is correct? But what if it’s not one theory; maybe the pumpkin tradition has evolved over time. After decades of being on campus, our guess is, we’ll never know. The same is probably true with theories and lenses of counseling. We’ll never know—for certain—if the perspective we take is “the correct” one. The best we can do is continue learning about human behavior and the theories that explain it and do our best for our clients by using lenses and theories to help understand their unique situations and help make things better. The pumpkin problem is much easier.

We encourage you to carry theories and lenses from this textbook around with you to help you to make sense of the world—not just in terms of counseling and therapy, but in terms of understanding complexities of the world we live in. At a time where there’s a tendency to over-rely on artificial intelligence to get “the answer” to your questions, playing with different theories is good for your neural connectivity—and probably good for your clients’ well-being, because embracing and valuing different perspectives is good for all of us as we try to navigate this wildly complex world.

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We believe in several things: First, we cannot help but be affected by contemporary socio-cultural-political events. Second, regardless of socio-cultural-political movements, the counseling and psychotherapy space needs to be safe, sacred, and inclusive for everyone, and especially people with limited resources, diverse identities, and a history of distress or trauma. Third, although we talk about creating a safe space for clients to explore their lives, our offices are not instantly safe, and simply saying the words, “this is a safe space” won’t magically create trust and safety. We need work with clients to, over time, make it experientially safe.

We hope you can use the theories in this text to create and support an inclusive psychotherapy where positive and transformative work happens.

WHAT’S NEW IN THE FOURTH EDITION?

We’ve been receiving solicited and unsolicited feedback on this “Theories text” since 2003. Most of the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. At conferences, people often approach us and say how much they love this book. They love the anecdotes, our irreverent attitudes, and our occasional efforts at humor. Yes, we believe this theories text is the funniest one on the market. Positive feedback from students and faculty has been incredibly affirming, mostly because our primary goals were to create an engaging, interesting, and practical theories text.

As a side note, we recognize there’s not much competition for funniest theories book on the market. But if there was a formal theories textbook humor competition, we would win hands down.

We’ve also received constructive feedback. Although less affirming, constructive feedback is essential to our personal and professional growth and development. We’ve tried to use constructive feedback to create an even better textbook. We invite you to provide us with whatever type of feedback you like.

So. . .what’s new in the Fourth Edition?

To add perspective to the text, we added a co-author. Bryan Cochran is a professor of psychology and LGBTIQ+ scholar. His voice and perspective are woven into every chapter, but especially our two new chapters. In chapter 2, Bryan describes several lenses that influence how we all practice counseling and psychotherapy. These lenses include: (a) Critical race theory; (b) Queer theory; (c) Intersectionality, and (d) a few other important contemporary perspectives. These lenses are not counseling or psychotherapy theories, but they can and should be used with theories and evidence-based approaches to make us more sensitive, humble, and competent in working with all clients.

In chapter 13, Bryan takes us on a deep dive into third wave behavioral treatments. These treatments include:

  1. Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR),
  2. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT),
  3. Prolonged exposure (PE), and
  4. The unified protocol (UP).

Each of these treatments incorporate mindfulness; they also have substantial empirical support. Learning about them will make you a better therapist.

To better address culture and social justice issues, we’ve done what Derald Wing Sue recommended 15 years ago. We eliminated the “multicultural chapter” and distributed cultural and diversity content throughout the other chapters, with a big emphasis in chapter 2. Our goal was to more fully integrate diversity into all theoretical approaches. We look forward to hearing from you regarding whether we accomplished that goal.

As before, every chapter includes sub-sections titled (a) cultural sensitivity, (b) gender and sexuality, and (c) spirituality. As it turns out, we still haven’t discovered the neurological basis of everything, but apparently folks are still trying. Neuroscience is featured in chapter 1 and incorporated throughout the text via the “Brain Box” feature that appears in most chapters.

WORDS TO (and from) THE WISE

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Language is liberating and activating. Although we’ve done our best to follow professional language guidelines, no doubt, sometimes you will react to our language choices, our examples, and our content. If we were in the same room as you as you had an emotional reaction, we would say something like, “Thank you for your passion.” And then we would do our best to non-defensively explore your reaction and our language, example, or content. If you engage in class discussions with classmates (or your instructor) about this text, we hope you will afford each other mutual respect and compassion for the emotions that can and will arise from studying counseling and psychotherapy.

Things Everyone Should Know about Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories: The Theories Series – Episode 1

But these posts are more than just about counseling and psychotherapy theories. They’re also about life. My first title was something like, “Things Everyone Should Know about Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories.” So, for episode one of the Theories Series, I’ve used both titles. Going forward, it will just be the Theories Series.

Each Theories Series episode will include an excerpt from our forthcoming 4th edition of our textbook, Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice. As you may have heard, our theories text is, hands down, the funniest theories text on the market. As you may have also heard, the bar for producing the funniest theories text is rather low.

Here we go. The jokes are free, so they may also be worthless.

From Chapter 1.

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Many students ask us, “Should I get a PhD in psychology, a master’s degree in counseling, or a master’s in social work?”

This question usually brings forth a lengthy response, during which we not only explain the differences between these various degrees but also discuss additional career information pertaining to the PsyD degree, psychiatry, school counseling, school psychology, and psychiatric nursing. This sometimes leads to the confusing topic of the differences between counseling and psychotherapy. If time permits, we also share our thoughts about less-confusing topics, like the meaning of life.

The famous strategic therapist Jay Haley (1977) was once asked: “In relation to being a successful therapist, what are the differences between psychiatrists, social workers, and psychologists?” He responded: “Except for ideology, salary, status, and power, the differences are irrelevant” (p. 165). Many different professional tracks lead toward becoming a successful mental health professional—despite a few ideological, salary, status, and power differences.

In this section, we explore three challenging questions: What is psychotherapy? What is counseling? And what are the differences between the two?

[the excerpt skips some ground here]

A Working Definition of Counseling and Psychotherapy

Counseling and psychotherapy are mostly similar and often overlapping. Therefore, we use the words counseling and psychotherapy interchangeably. Sometimes we use the word therapy as a generic term representing psychosocial interventions.

To capture the natural complexity of this thing we call counseling or psychotherapy, we offer a 12-part working definition of counseling and psychotherapy. Counseling or psychotherapy is:

(a) a process that involves (b) a trained professional who abides by (c) accepted ethical guidelines and has (d) competencies for working with (e) diverse individuals who are in distress or have life problems that led them to (f) seek help (possibly at the insistence of others) or they may be (g) seeking personal growth, but either way, these parties (h) establish an explicit agreement (informed consent) to (i) work together (more or less collaboratively) toward (j) mutually acceptable goals (k) using theoretically based or evidence-based procedures that, in the broadest sense, have been shown to (l) facilitate human learning or human development or reduce disturbing symptoms.

Although this definition is long and multifaceted, it’s still probably insufficient. For example, it wouldn’t fit self-administered therapies, such as self-analysis or self-hypnosis—although we’re quite certain that if you read through this definition several times, you’re likely to experience a self-induced hypnotic trance.

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Hahaha. People come for the theories, but they stay for the jokes.

New Year’s Resolutions, Intentions, and Goals: A Guide to What Works—Sometimes

I’m done with New Year’s resolutions. This year, I’m changing from New Year’s resolutions to New Year’s intentions.

My first New Year’s intention is to be on time, which is why I’m writing this blog about nine days into 2026.

New Year’s resolutions, intentions, and goal-setting are distinctions with very little difference. You know what they say, “A rose by any other name still smells the same.” But, several years ago, New Year’s intentions became chic. That means if your goal—like mine—for 2026 is to become more chic, you should set intentions, because goals stink.

Whether we call them resolutions, intentions, or goals, ambition for self-improvement is based on one central idea in mental and behavioral health: We all want to be better, to do better, and to become better versions of ourselves.

But self-improvement has never been and never will be easy. What gets in the way? Almost anything. We get distracted. We lose motivation. We get in our own way. We get annoyed and enraged at a world over which we have no control and then give up on the things we do have control over. If you’ve become frustrated at improving yourself (or our American democracy), join the club.

Before I offer a list of tips for bending resolutions, intentions, or goals to your will—so you can remake yourself, here’s a big caveat: Nothing always works. Just because I list it below, it doesn’t mean it will work for you. Life is an experiment. To effectively change your behavior is a long and winding experimental path. Your first resolution, intention, or goal should be to learn as much as you can as you experiment (and intermittently fail) at your efforts for self-improvement. Now, here’s the list of ideas you can try to make yourself a better YOU in 2026.

  1. Linger, reflect, and contemplate on what you want to change about yourself and your life. Impulsive goals last until you get to your next impulse. You may want to consult with someone about what you want to change and why. When building intentions, clarity helps. Finding your why helps too.
  2. Don’t set DUMB goals. I could have suggested that you set SMART goals, but that’s boring and passé and I’m chic. DUMB goals are goals that involve factors outside your control. If your goal is to experience even more frustration then you’re already experiencing, then be sure to make your goal all about somebody else, like, for example, getting your romantic partner, your parent, or your child to communicate better or be on time or stop criticizing you. If you want a snowball’s chance of success, put the resolution, intention, or goal within your circle of control.
  3. Make yourself a bad-ass plan. You shouldn’t rely on your mythical willpower or your vision board or somebody else’s plan. You know yourself. Make a plan that incorporates knowledge from your previous successes. Use your knowledge of your skills for avoidance and your tendency toward distraction to build yourself a unique plan for change.
  4. Set yourself up for easy actions. Let’s say you want to run a marathon or lose 20 pounds or bench press 220 lbs. Would you expect success tomorrow? Of course not. If you’re chic like me, set short-term and long-term intentions.
  5. Go public. If you tell a few people about your goals, you’re more likely to stick with them. Why? It’s not rocket science. Who wants to humiliate themselves via public failure? Also, it doesn’t hurt to check your realism with your friends and family. If your family tells you you’re foolish, use that info in one of two ways: (a) re-evaluate and re-set your goal or (b) use your family’s lack of faith in you as motivation to prove them wrong.
  6. Physically, mentally, and emotionally celebrate short-term success. One of the best tricks for habit change is to celebrate the small steps you make toward success. If you want to engage in social justice activities, give yourself a high-five or a fist pump or a verbal yessssss when you take a tiny step toward meeting with a like-minded civic group. Your brain will feel the love and help you continue toward your goal.
  7. Manage your self-talk (or not). Inevitably, your brain will try to sabotage you. You’ll hear an inner voice of doubt. Words like “You can’t do it” will rise up to smite you and your efforts. Don’t bother wondering where they came from. Either just notice them, say hello, and then let them float away or push back on them with evidence and effort.

This is a short list of a few ideas. There’s much more out there in the world, should you be interested. One warning: If you’re reading or watching something that promises magically easy self-improvement “hacks,” just get out your clicker and change the channel, because, if you’re chic like me, then you know self-improvement requires a savvy plan and sustained effort.

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For more information:

An article on “Better Habits” from Time Magazine by Professor Fogg of Stanford University: https://time.com/5756833/better-control-emotions-better-habits/

An old “Hidden Brain” podcast called “Creatures of Habit.” https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/creatures-of-habit/

A short goal-setting assignment I’ve used with my happiness classes:

An even shorter “Change one thing” reading from the happiness challenge:

On This Day

About a week ago, those of us in the northern hemisphere experienced the shortest-day solstice. Because of the convergence of the solstice, a 40th anniversary, and the new year, I took the unusual step (for me) of writing a poem. The poetry maven in our home pronounced it “good” which, for me, is not unlike winning a Pulitzer Prize.

I am of the age where nearly everything anyone says or writes prompts a story. Words trigger words. So many choices. Should I wander into a story about the solstice, 40 amazing years with Rita, or the words “Pulitzer Prize?”

To be a word conservationist—like all good poets—suffice it to say that when I was teaching at the University of Portland, a faculty person told the story of one of his students writing a whole essay describing a prestigious award called, “The Pullet Surprise.”

All this brings me back to the poem I wrote about the solstice for Rita and our 40th anniversary. No doubt, after publishing this poem on my blog for New Year’s Eve, I will be a finalist for the prestigious Pullet Surprise.

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On This Day

On this day

Our collective orbit

Has reached its edge

This is the great turning

Back

The pendulum has swung

We pause

Earth lingering, stock being taken

Where we have been

Where we are

Where we will be

Let us make lists, at this turning

Have we been kind?

Have we been generous?

Have we let others live freely?

Have we let outrage and judgment claim us?

Perhaps we should murder the long festering log in our eyes, rather than people in boats?

Now

We shall begin                                                               

Again

Our collective slow turning

Toward the light

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Peace to you and yours for 2026. I wish you all an excellent New Year’s Evening. May we all turn toward the light.