Happiness, Personal Reflections, Suicide Assessment and Intervention

The Invention of the Strength Warning

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Now that I’m immersed in positivity every day as the Director of the Center for the Advancement of Positive Education, I think I’ve become weirder.

Some of you, including my sisters and brothers-in-law may be wondering, “Wait. How could John become any MORE weird than he already is?”

You know what they say: “All things are possible!” [Actually, I don’t know why I just wrote all things are possible, because, even in my most positive mental states, I don’t believe that BS. All things are not possible. I could make a list of impossible things, but I’ve already digressed.]  

Here’s what I mean by me becoming even weirder.

I find myself more easily hearing and seeing the pervasive negative narratives emerging around us. I could make another long list of all the bad ideas (negative narratives) I’m noticing (think: “fight or flight”), but I’ll limit myself to one example: The “Trigger warning.”

Trigger warnings are statements that alert listeners or viewers (or people attending my suicide assessment workshops) to upcoming intense and potentially emotionally activating content. Over the past 10ish years, we’ve all started giving and receiving trigger warnings from time to time, now and then. A specific example, “The next segment of this broadcast includes gunfire” or “In my lecture I will be talking about mental health and suicide.”

As a college professor in a mental health-related discipline, I became well-versed in providing trigger warnings. . . and have offered them freely. Because some people have strong and negative emotional reactions to specific content, providing trigger warnings has always made good sense. The point is to alert people to intense content so they can take better care of themselves or opt out (stop listening/viewing). Trigger warnings are important and, no doubt, useful for helping some people prepare for emotionally activating content.

As a college professor, I’m also obligated to keep up with the latest research. Unfortunately, the research on trigger warnings isn’t very supportive of trigger warnings. Argh! In general, it appears that trigger warnings sensitize people and might make some people more likely to have a negative emotional response. You can read a 2024 meta-analysis on trigger warning research here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/21677026231186625

In response to the potential adverse effects of trigger warnings, I came up with a clever idea: I started giving trigger warnings for my trigger warnings. These were something like, “Because research suggests that trigger warnings can make you more reactive to negative content, I want to give you a trigger warning for my trigger warning and encourage you to not let my warning make you more sensitive than you already would be.”

Then, about a year ago, I had an epiphany. [I feel compelled to warn you that my epiphany might just be common sense, but it felt epiphany-like to me]

I realized—perhaps aided by my experiences training to do hypnosis—that trigger warnings might be functioning as negative suggestions, implying that people might not be able to handle the content and priming them to notice and focus on their negative reactions.

Given my epiphany, I was energized—as the solution-focused people like to say—to do something different. The different thing I settled on was to invent “The Strength Warning.”

[Here’s where I digress again to pitch a podcast. Paula Fontenelle, an all-around wonderful, kind, and competent professional, has a new podcast called, Relating to AI. And, lucky me, I got to be one of her very first guests. And, lucky Paula (joking now), she got to have me start her podcast interview by explaining and demonstrating the strength warning. Consequently, if you’re interested in AI and/or in hearing me demonstrate the strength warning, the link to Paula’s podcast is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHDIYrXw_2Y]

Although watching/listening to me give the strength warning with Paula is way more fun, I will also describe it below.

For strengths warnings, I say things like this.

In addition to warning you about sensitive content coming up, I also want to give you a Strength Warning. A strength warning is mostly the opposite of a trigger warning. I want you to watch out for the possibility that being here together in this lecture and with your colleagues might just make you notice yourself feeling stronger, feeling better, feeling more prepared, feeling more knowledgeable, and maybe even feeling smarter. So . . . watch for that, because I think you might even be stronger than you think you are.

Please, let me know what you think about my invention of the strength warning. I encourage you to try it out when you’re teaching or presenting.

I also encourage you to try out Paula’s new podcast. If you do, you might feel smarter, stronger, and more prepared to face the complicated issue of having AI intrude on our lives.

Happiness, Multicultural, Personal Reflections, Suicide Assessment and Intervention

Strengths-Based Suicide Prevention on the Blackfeet Reservation

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Today, Tammy Tolleson Knee and completed day 1 of a 2-day course on Strengths-Based Suicide Assessment and Interventions in Schools at the Buffalo Hide Academy of Browning Public Schools on the Blackfeet Reservation. We are beyond happy for this opportunity. It’s the first time for Tammy and I to present together (for two days!). As frosting on the presentation cake, Rita is here with us, watching, listening, heckling, and guiding.

In case you haven’t heard, Browning Public Schools and their staff have already started integrating strengths-based suicide prevention work into their programming. Two of our former University of Montana school counseling graduates, Sienna and Charlie Speicher are at the center of this work. Sienna and Charlie have already taught strengths-based courses through Blackfeet Community College, and they founded the Firekeeper Alliance. Here’s the Firekeeper Alliance Mission Statement:

Our mission is to cultivate resources, attention, and awareness to ultimately transform perspectives regarding suicidal distress in Indian Country and to help reduce suicide rates in our communities. We believe that mainstream and current approaches of suicide assessment and intervention struggle to meet the unique needs of Tribal populations. The Firekeeper Alliance promotes a different set of strengths-based, decolonized ideals around suicidal behavior. We believe that systemic and cultural shifts in the clinical community are necessary to truly make a positive change.

The Firekeeper Alliance also focuses on several areas, including offering strengths-based approaches to counseling, as in the following:

  • Offer individual and group counseling sessions utilizing evidence-based therapies which are effective in addressing suicidality.
  • Promote assessment techniques and interventions that elicit protective factors and a resilient spirit.
  • Administer assessment instruments that screen for strengths, character assets, and benevolent experience to depathologize suicidal distress.
  • Advocate for strengths based assessment and intervention approaches to be used in conjunction with cultural healing mechanisms.

Back to our training. . .here are the ppts that Tammy and I developed. There are SO MANY, but then again, we’re covering two whole days!

SBSA for Browning 2025Download

In closing, I want to give a big shout-out to Browning Public Schools (BPS) for collaborating with us (the Center for the Advancement of Positive Education; aka CAPE) to bring this training to Browning. Not only do we have a dozen or so school counselors in the room, we’ve also got a dozen or so administrative staff, including principals and the BPS superintendent. We had a blast today and are looking forward to more meaningful fun tomorrow!

John SF

Happiness, Personal Reflections

The Montana Healthcare Foundation Summit in Bozeman — Slide decks

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I’m looking forward to a morning drive to Bozeman where I’ll meet and talk with healthcare and mental health providers and advocates from all around Montana. In advance of the Summit, I want to say thank you to the Montana Healthcare Foundation and to all the participants for their dedication to the well-being of all Montanans.

I have two talks . . . and the slide decks are linked below:

MTHCF Summit Keynote 2025 REVDownload
EB Strats for MTHF 2025 JSFDownload
Counseling and Psychotherapy Theory and Practice, diversity, Multicultural, Personal Reflections, Writing

Who Are You? A Request

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We’re in the throes of editing our Theories text, meaning I’m so deep into existential, feminist, and third wave counseling and psychotherapy theories that I may have lost myself. If any of you find me somewhere on the street babbling about Judith Jordan and Frantz Fanon and Bryan Cochran, please guide me home.

This brings me to a big ask.

As part of 4th wave feminism, we’re more deeply integrating intersectionality into the practice of feminist therapy. Among other things, intersectionality is about identity. I’m interested in using a variation of Irvin Yalom’s “Who are you?” group technique to explore identity in anyone willing to respond to this post.

To participate, follow these instructions.

  1. Clear a space for thinking, writing, and exploring your identity.
  2. Ask yourself the question: “Who am I?” and write down the response as it flows into your brain/psyche.
  3. Repeat this process nine more times, for a total of 10 responses, numbering each response. One rule about this: You can’t use the same response twice.
  4. After you finish your list of 10, write a paragraph or two about how you were affected by this activity.
  5. If you’re comfortable sharing, send me your list of 10 identities along with your reflections (email: john.sf@mso.umt.edu). If you prefer the more public route, you can post your responses here on my blog. Either way, because I’m in 24/7 theories mode, you may not hear back from me until middle November!

There’s a chance I might want to quote one or more of you in the theories text, instructor’s manual, student guide, or in this blog. If that’s the case, I will email you and request permission.

Thanks for considering this activity and request. Identity and identity development are fascinating. Whether we’re talking about multiple identities (intersectionality), emotions and behaviors (Blake), or the “microbes within us” (Yong), we all contain multitudes.

Suicide Assessment and Intervention

Integrating Strengths Based Suicide Assessment into Traditional Approaches​

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Good morning.

Yesterday I was in Arkansas with the Arkansas Psychological Association talking about Strengths-based Suicide Assessment. And today I’m in Philly, along with Dr. Umit Arslan (and missing Tammy Tolleson-Knee) talking about it again–at the Association of Counselor Education and Supervision conference.

Unfortunately, Tammy’s efforts to get here were foiled by a particular airline fiasco, but we’re carrying on! We miss you Tammy!

Here’s the ppt:

ACES.2025Download
Happiness, Love, Personal Reflections

Tools for Living Your Best Life — The Absarokee Event

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We had a blast on Saturday afternoon in Absarokee doing a 3-hour workshop on “Tools for Living your Best Life: A Happiness Primer.

Why was it a blast? Let me count the ways.

  1. Rita opened the event with a sweet version of the song, “Happiness Runs. . .”
  2. Turnout was awesome with 33 participants packed into the old Cobblestone Schoolhouse.
  3. Rita and the Cobblestone Board orchestrated a “Best Savoring Treat” contest, brought in a judge, and we all applied our savoring skills before, during, and after our designated snack time. There were many deserving entries. I felt for the judge, who had to sample all 14 food options!
  4. The group was a combination of educators and people off the street. I think the person who won the longest travel to attend drove from Jordan, but we also had a teacher from Townsend, and a handful who drove down the hill from Red Lodge.
  5. Questions, comments, and participation was amazing. I was very impressed with the level of engagement.  
  6. At the end, I had the honor and opportunity to act as the auctioneer to raise funds for the Cobblestone Building (which needs gutters installed). As an untrained auctioneer who uses his little league “a-batta” skills combined with a complete breakdown of inhibition, it was great fun.
  1. The event was supported by the Cobblestone Board and the Phyllis J. Washington Center for the Advancement of Positive Education (CAPE) at the University of Montana. If your organization would like to host a community event, contact Torey Wetsch at CAPE for information: torey.wetsch@mso.umt.edu.

Go Griz!                                                                            

Here are the ppts:

Absarokee Happiness Sept 2025Download
Counseling and Psychotherapy Theory and Practice

Revisiting the Genius of Mary Cover Jones

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While reviewing and revising the behavior therapy chapter from our Theories textbook, I found myself revisiting my awe of Mary Cover Jones. I think too many contemporary therapists don’t know about Mary Cover Jones and don’t understand the behavioral (classical conditioning) model for understanding and treating anxiety disorders, including OCD and PTSD.

In most chapters, we include a feature called a “Brain Box.” Here’s the box from Chapter 7, Behavior Theory and Therapy.

7.1 Brain Science May be Shiny, but Exposure Therapy is Pure Gold

In honor of Joseph Wolpe, let’s start with mental imagery.

***********

Imagine you’ve travelled back in time to your first week of high school. You look around and see that one of your classmates is named Mary Jones.

Mary is an ordinary girl with an ordinary name. Over the years, you don’t notice her much. She seems like a nice person, a fairly good student, and someone who doesn’t get in trouble or draw attention to herself.

Four years pass. A new student joined your class during senior year. His name is Daniel Tweeter. Toward the end of the year, Daniel does a fantastic Prezi presentation about a remarkable new method for measuring reading outcomes. He includes cool video clips and boomerang Snapchat. When he bows at the end, he gets a standing ovation. Daniel is a good student and a hard worker; he partnered up with a college professor and made a big splash. Daniel deserves recognition.

However, as it turns out, over the whole four years of high school, Mary Jones was quietly working at a homeless shelter; week after week, month after month, year after year, she was teaching homeless children how to read. In fact, based on Daniel’s measure of reading outcomes, Mary had taught over 70 children to read.

Funny thing. Mary doesn’t get much attention. All everybody wants to talk about is Daniel. At graduation, he wins the outstanding graduate award. Everyone cheers.

Let’s stop the visualization and reflect on what we imagined.

***********

Like birds and raccoons, humans tend to like shiny things. Mary did incredible work, but hardly anyone noticed. Daniel did good work, and got a standing ovation and the top graduate award.

The “shiny-thing theory” is my best explanation for why we tend to get overly excited about brain science. It’s important, no doubt, but brain imaging isn’t therapy; it’s just a cool way to measure or validate therapy’s effects.

Beginning from at least 1924, when Mary Cover Jones was deconditioning fear out of little children, behavior therapy has shown not only great promise, but great outcomes. However, when researchers showed that exposure therapy “changes the brain,” most of the excitement and accolades were about the brain images; exposure therapy was like background noise. Obviously, the fact that exposure therapy (and other therapies) change the brain is great news. It’s great news for people who have anxiety and fear, and it’s great news for practitioners who use exposure therapy.

This is all traceable to neuroscience and human evolution. We get distracted by shiny objects and miss the point because our neural networks and perceptual processes are oriented to alert us to novel (new) environmental stimuli. This is probably because change in the form of shiny objects might signal a threat or something new and valuable. We therefore need to exercise self-discipline to focus in and not overlook that behavior therapy in general, and exposure therapy in particular, has been, is, and probably will continue to be, the most effective approach on the planet for helping people overcome anxiety and fear. In addition, you know what, it doesn’t really matter that it changes the brain (although that’s damn cool and affirming news). What matters is that it changes clients’ lives.

Exposure therapy, no matter how you package it, is highly effective for treating anxiety. This statement is true whether we’re talking about Mary Cover Jones and her evidence-based counterconditioning cookies or Francine Shapiro and eye movement desensitization reprocessing (EMDR). It’s also true whether we’re talking about virtual reality exposure, imaginal exposure, massed exposure, spaced exposure, in vivo exposure, interoceptive exposure, response prevention (in obsessive-compulsive disorder), or the type of exposure that acceptance and commitment therapists use (note that they like to say it’s “different” from traditional classical conditioning exposure, but it works, and that’s what counts).

In the end, let’s embrace and love and cheer brain imaging and neuroscience, but not forget the bottom line. The bottom line is that exposure therapy works! Exposure therapy is the genuine article. Exposure therapy is pure gold.

Mary Cover Jones is the graduate of the century; she was amazing. Because of her, exposure therapy has been pure gold for 93+ years, and now we’ve got cool pictures of the brain to prove it.

Mary Cover Jones passed away in 1987. Just minutes before her death, she said to her sister: “I am still learning about what is important in life” (as cited in Reiss, 1990).

We should all be more like Mary.

Happiness, Love, Parenting, Personal Reflections, Writing

Tomorrow’s Presentation at the Montana CASA Conference in Butte

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Tomorrow’s talk is titled, Ten Things Everyone Should Know About Children’s Mental Health and Happiness. Because this talk is about what everyone should know, I suspect everyone will be there. So, I’ll see you soon.

Given the possibility that everyone won’t be there, I’m sharing the list of the 10 things, along with some spiffy commentary.

First, I’ll give a strength warning. If you don’t know what that means, you’re not alone, because I made it up. It might be the coolest idea ever, so watch for more details about it in future blogs.

Then, I’ll say something profound like, “The problems with mental health and happiness are big, and they seem to just be getting bigger.” At which point, I’ll launch into the ten things.

  1. Mental health and happiness are wicked problems. This refers to the fact that mental health and happiness are not easy to predict, control, or influence. They’re what sociologists call “wicked problems,” meaning they’re multidimensional, non-linear, elicit emotional responses, and often when we try to address them, our well-intended efforts backfire.
  2. Three ways your brain works. [This one thing has three parts. Woohoo.]
    1. We naturally look for what’s wrong with us. Children and teens are especially vulnerable to this. In our contemporary world they’re getting bombarded with social media messages about diagnostic criteria for mental disorders so much that they’re overidentifying with mental disorder labels.
    1. We find what we’re looking for. This is called confirmation bias, which I’ve blogged about before.
    1. What we pay attention to grows. This might be one of the biggest principles in all of psychology. IMHO, we’re all too busy growing mental disorders and disturbing symptoms (who doesn’t have anxiety?).
  3. We’re NOT GOOD at shrinking NEGATIVE behaviors. This is so obvious that my therapist friends usually say, “Duh” when I mention it.
  4. We’re better at growing POSITIVE behaviors. Really, therapy is about helping people develop skills and strengths for dealing with their symptoms. More skills, strengths, and resources result in fewer disturbing symptoms.
  5. Should we focus on happiness? The answer to this is NO! Too much preoccupation with our own happiness generally backfires.
  6. What is happiness? If you’ve been following this blog, you should know the answer to this question. Just in case you’re blanking, here’s a pretty good definition: From Aristotle and others – “That place where the flowering of your greatest (and unique) virtues, gifts, skills, and talents intersect (over time) with the needs of the world [aka your family/community].”
  7. You can flip the happiness. This thing flows from a live activity. To get it well, you’ll need to be there!
  8. Just say “No” to toxic positivity. To describe how this works and why we say no to toxic positivity, I’ll take everyone through the three-step emotional change trick.
  9. Automatic thoughts usually aren’t all that positive. How does this work for you? When something happens to you in your life and your brain starts commenting on it, does your brain usually give you automatic compliments and emotional support? I thought not.
  10.  How anxiety works. At this point I’ll be fully revved up and possibly out of time, so I’ll give my own anxiety-activated rant about the pathologizing, simplistic, and inaccurate qualities of that silly “fight or flight” concept.

Depending on timing, I may add a #11 (Real Mental Health!) and close with my usual song.

For those interested, here’s the slide deck:

Ten Things CASA Sept 2025Download

If you’re now experiencing intense FOMO, I don’t blame you. FOMO happens. You’ll just need to lean into it and make a plan to attend one of my future talks on what everyone should know.

Thanks for reading and have a fabulous evening. I’ll be rolling out of Absarokee on my way to Butte at about 5:30am!

Personal Reflections, Writing

Hope Theory for Suicide Prevention Month on the Blackfeet Reservation

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All too often on this blog I’m writing about what I’m doing and I’m thinking. I suppose that’s just fine, after all, it’s my blog. But, as many people have said before me and better than I can, “Other people matter” and seeing the light (or the divine) in others is among the most meaningful experiences we can have.

One light I’ve been seeing lately is the strengths-based suicide prevention work that the Firekeeper Alliance (a non-profit org) is doing on the Blackfeet Reservation in Northern Montana. In July, they had a “suicide prevention” heavy metal concert called Fire in the Mountains, complete with amazing metal bands and equally amazing panels, discussions, and speakers. If you’re interested in creative approaches to well-being, you really should check them out.

Here they are on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=9232983300123005

And Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIjQIhtirRj/

This past Thursday, Charlie Speicher, architect of the Firekeeper Alliance and Director of the Buffalo Hide Academy in Browning, shared one of their Suicide Prevention Month activities. The idea is simple: Feature the beauty and strengths of the reservation and its people. The product: A 12-minute video that focuses on what gives the Blackfeet people hope. The video captures the faces, sentiments, and emotions in response to “What gives you hope?” Here’s the link on Youtube:

I hope you’ll watch and share this video.

Here’s the link on the Firekeeper Alliance website: https://firekeeperalliance.org/news/what-gives-you-hope

All too often, people think and share information about the challenges of reservation life. This video shares hope, beauty, and potential.

With your help, I hope this video travels far and wide. Please share. At the very least, it should get all over Montana media. And, just in case anyone has the right connections, I think it’s a great fit for virtually any national media outlet that wants to shift toward a positive narrative in Indian Country.

Thanks for reading . . . and for seeing the light (and fire) in others.

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