Category Archives: Happiness
On Good Faith: A Conversation with Justin Angle.
Last week I got a little hate email.
Some weeks are like that. I’d share the details, but that would spoil the surprise. Besides, I’m really not into giving hate email (or hate mail or hate social media posts) any oxygen.
But today I got an email alert from “A New Angle” the radio-podcast show hosted by Dr. Justin Angle, a professor in the College of Business Administration at the University of Montana. The email was alerting me to the imminent airing of Part 2 of my discussion of “Good Faith” with Just on his renowned radio show. I was grateful for the alert; it also reminded me of my hate email, because the hate email came from someone who listened to Part 1 of our Good Faith conversation and consequently felt that special sort of inspiration that moves people to write hate emails.
I’ve known Justin from a distance for a while. We’re both at the University of Montana, so, you know, there’s been a little chat here, a little chat there. I’ve also known of him growing his small podcast into a big deal on Montana Public Radio and Yellowstone Public Radio. Justin’s show is excellent.
What I didn’t know is the depth and breadth of Justin’s intelligence. I also didn’t know that he’s a fabulous interviewer. I discovered his amazing intelligence and fabulousness when I sat down with him this past May to record a show with him on Good Faith. We talked comfortably for what felt like a long time. Not only did it feel like a long time, it was a long time! It was so long that Justin turned our conversation into a two-part episode for his radio show.
Here’s the email I received:
This week is part two of our conversation with John Sommers-Flanagan, director of the Center for the Advancement of Positive Education at the University of Montana’s Phyllis J. Washington College of Education.
John and Justin pick up where they left off last week talking about how lying and parenting intersect, the concept of confirmation bias and the risks of AI-generated content and building relationships with AI.
Here’s a link to Part 2 of our conversation. It’s also live at 7:30pm tonight (Thursday, June 19, 2025) on Montana Public Radio:
If you want to listen to Part 1 and possibly feel inspired to send me a hate message, here’s that link:
As always, thanks for reading and have a fabulous day.
Peggy Bit Me . . . and Then She Wrote a Children’s Book
To prevent confusion and conflation, I should note that the title of this blog post represents two separate events:
- In 1958, Peggy bit me.
- Then, in 2025, she wrote a children’s book.
Just so you know, the 2025 children’s book is NOT about that time she bit me. I’m hoping that will be her second book because I’d really love to get to the bottom of what the heck 3-year-old Peggy was thinking right before she tried to bite off my big toe. My guess it was something like, “I’ll show that chubby, whiny infant baby John a thing or two; he’s not bumping me off my youngest child throne. And if he does, he’ll be limping all the way, because he’ll be missing a toe.”
But I digress. This post is about my wonderful sister’s wonderful new children’s book. I don’t want to make a big deal about my toe injury. The “toe incident,” which people are now calling it, although still emotionally painful for me, is ancient history. Although initially a wild-rabid-feral child, my sister Peggy has grown into a gentle, kind, creative, smart, compassionate, and amazing woman. She would never bite my toe again. Right Peggy?
Peggy’s book is titled, “Catching Memories.” It’s about a unique childhood experience she had with our family (with Gayle and Peggy’s favorite brother, John, as key sibling figures), at Arch Cape, a beautiful beach on the Northern Oregon Coast. We spent many weekends at Arch Cape, as it was our maternal grandparents home.
The specific memory Peggy writes about was SO GOOD. I’m not sharing details. You’ll have to pay the big bucks, $14.99 on Amazon, to read the story. Here’s a link. Buy Catching Memories
Peggy just sent me a copy of an INCREDIBLY POSITIVE Falcon Review of her book. The review is great, because the book is great. I’m guessing Peggy did not bite the toe of the reviewer. I say this because right now I’m typing a great review and hoping Peggy will take notice:
“Catching Memories is a fabulous children’s book about a unique family experience, memories, and kindness. Peggy Lotz’s debut children’s book is written with so much love, affection, and grace that you would never suspect she tried to maim her younger brother. The book is so awesome that you’ll want a copy for your children or for yourself or both. Buy it now”
In case Peggy is reading this, I’m trying to make it clear that even though that Falcon Review guy wrote you a great review, I’ve just written and posted a rather fantastic review . . . AND you (Peggy) bit me. This fantastic review should make it clear that I’m better than that Falcon Press guy could ever hope to be . . . because the fact that I’m writing it for someone who bit me speaks to the sort of selfless and forgiving person I am. In summary: My sister bites my toe and I put aside the pain and write her a stellar review. If I haven’t made it obvious yet, I’m campaigning for the position of being Peggy’s favorite brother. Given that I’m her only brother, I have the inside track, but you can’t mess around with favorite brother stuff because one day, just when you think you’re on top of the world, the next minute your big sister might try to gnaw off your big toe with her big teeth.
All I’m saying here (Peggy), is that I’m your favorite brother. Forget about that Falcon Review guy. He’s not your brother. . . let alone your favorite!
In closing, if any of you care about me, please show it by buying a copy of my sister’s book.
P.S. Here’s the best thing. Peggy says there’s a chance that the marketing plan might involve creating “Gayle, Peggy, and John” dolls. . . which is simply the coolest idea ever.
If you’re curious about the original “Peggy Bit Me” story, just click here: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2019/01/28/peggy-bit-me/
That Time When I Found A Parallel Universe Where People Like Statistics
Earlier this week I found a parallel universe wherein I was able to convince three people that it would be terribly fun to sit with me in a classroom for 2+ hours and work through the post-course data from our most recent “Happiness for Educators” class. This involved me figuring out how to screencast my computer onto a big screen where I went through the process of accessing our Qualtrics file and exporting the data to SPSS. Then, while experiencing intermittent fits of joy, we cleaned the data, used the “recode” function to reverse score all the items requiring reverse scoring and then calculated our 16 different outcome variables.
In this parallel universe, the three people who joined me (you know who you are), asked great questions and acted interested the WHOLE time. Of course, one of the “people” is a well-established Missoula actor, so there’s the possibility that I was fooled by some excellent acting or feigning or pretending. That said, finding a parallel universe where people act interested in stats remains a feat to brag about.
We made it through all the post-test data. To maximize the fun and bring us all to a place of breathless excitement, I ran a quick descriptive analysis. At first glance, the data looked okay, but not great. Of course, we didn’t have the pretest outcome variables analyzed, and so we were forced to leave with bated breath.
Today, access to the parallel universe was briefly adversely affected by a slight temporal shift; nevertheless, I found one of the “people” and she enthusiastically embraced another 2 hours of stats. . . . At the end, she shouted from her office, “That was fun!”
I know at this point, I am, as Freud might say, “straining your credulity” but I speak the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
And the rest of the truth gets even better. Tammy (my new best stats friend) and I found the following statistical results.
- 89 of 100 students completed the pre-post questionnaires.
- We had statistical significance on ALL 16 outcomes—at the p < .01 level (or better).
- The effect sizes (Cohen’s d with Hedges adjustments) were among our best ever, with top outcomes being:
- Improved positive affect (feeling more cheerful, etc): d = .900 (a LARGE effect size)
- Reduced negative affect (feeling fewer negative emotional states) d = 885. (a LARGE effect size)
- Improved total self-reported physical health (a compilation of better sleep, reduced headaches, reduced gastrointestinal symptoms, fewer respiratory symptoms) d = .821 (a LARGE effect size)
- Reduced depression (as measured by the CES-D): d = .732 (an almost LARGE effect size)
If you’re reading this, I hope you’re skeptical. Because if you’re skeptical, then I’m sure you’ll want to know whether this is the first, second, third, or fourth time we’ve found this pattern of results. Nope. It’s the FIFTH consecutive time we’ve had all significant outcomes or nearly all significant outcomes that appear to be happening as a function of our happiness for educators course.
Although I am in constant fear that, next time, the results will be less impressive, I’m getting to the point where I’m thinking: These results are not random error, because we now have data across five cohorts and 267 teachers.
If you’re reading this, I also hope you’re thinking what I’m thinking. That is: You should take this course (if you’re a Montana educator) or you should tell your Montana educator friends to take this course. If you happen to be thinking what I’m thinking, here’s the link to sign up for our summer sections.
It’s a pretty good deal. Only $95 to experience more positive emotions, fewer negative emotions, better physical health, reduced depression, and more!
Coughing My Way Through Montana
Last week was a blur. On Wednesday, I did a break-out session for the Montana Prevent Child Abuse and Neglect conference in Helena. I’ve been to this conference multiple times and always deeply appreciate the amazing people in Montana and beyond who are dedicated to the mission of preventing child abuse and neglect. For the break-out, I presented on “Ten Things Everyone Should Know About Mental Health, Suicide, and Happiness.” This is one of my favorite newish topics and I felt very engaged with the 120+ participants. A big thanks to them.
Before the session, I felt a bit physically “off.” Overnight, the “off” symptoms developed into a sore throat and cough. This would NOT have been a problem, except I was scheduled for the hour-long closing conference keynote on Thursday. The good news is that I had zero fever and it was NOT Covid. The bad news was my voice was NOT good. I did the talk “In Pursuit of Eudaimonia” with 340ish attendees and got through it, but only with the assistance of a hot mic.
I had to cancel my Friday in Missoula and ended up in Urgent Care, with a diagnosis of bronchitis or possibly pneumonia, which was rather unpleasant over the weekend.
Having recovered (mostly), by yesterday, I recorded a podcast (Justin Angle’s “A New Angle” on Montana Public Radio) at the University of Montana College of Business. Thanks to a helpful pharmaceutical consult with a helpful woman at Albertsons, I had just the right amount of expectorant, later combined with a strong cough suppressant, to make it through 90 minutes of fun conversation with Justin without coughing into the podcast microphone. We talked about “Good Faith” in politics, society, and relationships. The episode will air in early June.
And now . . . I’m in beautiful Butte, Montana, where I’m doing an all-day (Thursday) workshop for the Montana Sex Offender Treatment Association. . . on Strengths-Based Suicide Assessment and Treatment . . . at the Copper King Hotel and Convention Center. Not surprisingly, having slept a bit extra the past five days, I’m up and wide awake at 4:30am, with not much to do other than post a pdf of my ppts for the day. Here they are:
Thanks for reading and thanks for being the sort of people who are, no doubt, doing what you can to make Montana and the world a little kinder and more compassionate place to exist.
Be well.
Ten Things Everyone Should Know about Mental Health, Suicide, and Happiness
I’ve spent the better part of the past two weeks doing presentations in various locations and venues. I did five presentations in Nebraska, and found myself surprisingly fond of Lincoln and Kearney Nebraska. On Thursday I was at a Wellness “Reason to Live” conference with CSKT Tribal Services at Kwataqnuk in Polson. Just now I finished an online talk with the Tex-Chip program. One common topic among these talks was the title of this blog post. I have found myself interestingly passionate about the content of this particular. . . so much so that I actually feel energized–rather than depleted–after talking for two hours.
Not surprisingly, I’ve had amazingly positive experiences throughout these talks. All the participants have been engaged, interesting, and working hard to be the best people they can be. Beginning with the Mourning Hope’s annual breakfast fundraiser, extending into my time with Union Bank employees, and then being with the wonderful indigenous people in Polson, and finally the past two hours Zooming with counseling students in Texas . . . I have felt hope and inspiration for the good things people are doing despite the challenges they face in the current socio-political environment.
If you were at one of these talks (or are reading this post), thanks for being you, and thanks for contributing your unique gifts to the world.
For your viewing pleasure, the ppts for this talk are linked here.
Strengths-Based Suicide Assessment and Treatment for the Western Oregon Mental Health Association
For fans of Strengths-Based suicide workshops, this Friday I’m doing a three hour online workshop for the Western Oregon Mental Health Assocation.
The workshop is happening this Friday from 9-noon (PDT). It’s a pretty reasonable deal: $60 for licensed WOMHA members, $75 for licensed non-members, $35 for pre-licensed people, and $5 for students.
Sorry for the late notice, but here’s the link to register:
https://bookwhen.com/womha#focus=ev-s8as-20250411090000
And here’s a copy of the ppts:
I’m looking forward to my virtual trip back to Oregon this Friday!
The Roots of the Problem
Today, Dr. Bossypants (aka Rita) offered me a coauthor opportunity. Thanks Dr. BP!
Problems, like trees, have roots. As Alfred Adler (and many others) would have said, problems are multi-determined, meaning: There’s always more than one root. Most of us agree that the United States has big problems. But what are the roots of our troubles?
One side insists that the roots of our troubles include unworthy and illegal immigrants, burdening the rich with taxes, satanic trans folk, welfare fakers, and bleeding hearts. The media picks up this messaging, repeating these highly questionable theories until they sink into our psyches as if they were true.
But we are being played.
As they said back in the Watergate era, follow the money.
The rare transgender athlete is not to blame for your low wages or the price of food and shelter. Tending to the disabled and disadvantaged is not breaking the bank. Social Security makes us a strong, compassionate society—providing for all of us as we age. Social Security isn’t going broke. It’s being dismantled and privatized so the wealthy benefit.
We’re chopping off our noses to spite our faces. USAID greatly contributed to the health of the poor, the planet, and developing societies trying to recover, survive, and grow. NPR and PBS cost about $1.50 per person per year. Although their coverage has been leaning right, they work toward being objective, balanced, and accurate. A free press is at the heart of democracy.
Hiding the contributions of people of color from American history involves rewriting reality. What might be the purpose of excluding honorable actions and voices of diverse individuals and groups from our history? There’s an African proverb: “Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.” Preserving real history doesn’t make us less safe. Massive salaries, bonuses, and advantages given to those mismanaging and/or dismantling our social and financial safety nets is a real danger.
Billionaires have lied so well for so long that many Americans blame poor people and the middle class for government waste and fraud. As everyone admits, government waste and fraud exist, and there are effective strategies for minimizing waste and fraud. One billionaire strategy is this: Get the American people to blame each other for their financial woes. Then, through their tax loopholes, billionaires walk right into the henhouse and steal the country’s eggs.
Most billionaires don’t become billionaires because of their compassion and generosity. They’re billionaires because of miners, farmers, mill workers, steelmakers, refinery workers, teachers, servers, nurses, doctors, social workers, inventors, and small businesspeople: THESE are the people who make becoming a billionaire possible.
Balanced budgets are possible. Giving billionaires MORE money will not balance the budget. Taxing them more will. A graduated income tax is not the same thing as socialism. Anyone who tells you that taxing the rich and providing a social safety net is socialism or communism either (a) wants YOUR money, (b) is lying, or (c) is ignorant.
Socialism is a political and economic theory advocating that the means of production, distribution of goods, and trade/exchange be owned by the collective. Taxing the wealthy in a proportionate manner is not the same as having the collective or the government take over ownership of their businesses. In a capitalist system, taxes and government regulation function to reduce power imbalance, abuse of the poor by the wealthy, and the development of social safety nets and public health systems that benefit the whole.
The ugly fights we’re in now were started purposefully and fueled by lies, phony moral outrage, purchased bots and paid “news” outlets. We’ve been duped into “culture wars.” As if a gay marriage is why you aren’t paid fairly. As if God needs guns to defend holiness. As if basic health care for everyone will cost more than our broken system. As if we cannot share bathrooms. We share bathrooms all the time in our homes, while camping, at outdoor sporting events (think porta potties). Our economic and social problems are NOT ABOUT BATHROOMS.
We would say “wake up,” but the billionaires have cleverly stolen that concept. They want us asleep. They want us less educated, less compassionate, and more frightened.
Those in power twist science, scripture, economics, virtue, common sense, and the idea of community. But they can’t take your soul; they can’t eliminate your deep awareness of right and wrong. Only you can do that.
Ask yourselves:
- If climate change caused by humans is wrong, why not clean things up anyway? Powerful people can say “drill baby drill” and it sounds aggressively American, but really, who’s pro-pollution? Denying climate change will cost us our planet.
- All religions, including Christianity, advocate for taking care of the poor. Yes, it costs a few shekels. But do we want the alternative? Shall we harden our hearts and let others suffer and die?
- If you believe YOU should have control over your own body and your own sexual decisions, maybe YOU can let others own their bodies and make their own choices as well?
- Science is not a simplistic fact-finding mission. Science is a disciplined process of inquiry. Scientific knowledge has saved millions of lives. Funding science is about progress and having a higher quality of living. Superstition, politicizing, and irrational attacks on science is regressive, ignorant, and dangerous.
- Do you think the Creator expects YOU to force your version of morality onto others? Should you enforce thou shalt not kill with weapons? Aren’t you busy enough just finding the time and resources to love your neighbor? Care for the poor? Offer your coat to anyone who needs it? It takes a lifetime to remove the log in your eye, so you can see well enough to help someone with a splinter? Isn’t God, by definition, omnipotent? We should all stop confusing our will, our interests, and our greed, with God’s will.
- We need the rule of law. When people in power disregard and disparage the courts, they’re not acting for the common good. If we lose the rule of law, we’ll be ruled by outlaws.
Over our long history, humans have been conned, cheated, manipulated, and enslaved many times by the rich, powerful, and depraved. Trusting billionaires and others who are energized by the pursuit of power, greed, and revenge does not end well.
For a pdf of this post, click here:
What Happened This Week and PPTs for the U of Montana Psychology Club
This past week I had the honor and privilege of offering four presentations, one each on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
Monday was a Zoom date with a counseling class at West Virginia University.
Tuesday was an exciting in-person presentation for the University of Montana MOLLI program, kicking off our small group experiential Evidence-Based Happiness course for older adults. It was phenomenal. The older adults always bring it. One–among many–highlights was an 88 -year-old guy who, in the midst of the Three-Step Emotional Change Trick, shared about how he “Honored” his emotions by joining a grief group after his wife died (3 years ago). His sharing was beautiful and perfect.
Wednesday was my annual visit to Dr. Timothy Nichols’s Honors College course on LOVE. Dr. Nichols happens to be the Dean of the Honors College and one of the coolest and kindest and most enthused people on the planet. Mostly I go every year just to hear him introduce me. In truth, I also go because the topic and the students are INCREDIBLE. I think it may have been the best LOVE lecture EVER. I’d post the ppts here, but my computer crashed yesterday, and the U of M IT people (who are always very nice) are now attempting “data recovery.” Argh!
Thursday I got to hang out for two hours with the Graduate Students of the University of Montana Psychology Club. This was yet another fun experience with a group of students who are all simply brilliant. To top it off, a couple of my favorite people (and Psych faculty), Bryan Cochran and Greg Machek also attended. . . providing the precise level of sarcasm and humor that made the experience practically perfect. Here are the Psych Club’s ppts, which I happened to have on a flash drive:
Happiness as a Butterfly (or Elephant)
[Photo by Jean Bjerke, from a post in the Henrys Fork Wildlife Alliance – Wildlife Weekly Archives – July 15, 2021
Rita and I are working on a short “Happiness Handbook.” It’s a secret. Don’t tell ANYONE!
Below is a short and modified excerpt of something I’d written a while back on happiness being “hard to catch.” I’m looking for a place to put it in our secret handbook . . . so, for now, I’m putting it here. There’s one line in this little story that I love so much that I wish I could turn it into a quotable quote for everyone to use on the internet (haha). See if you can find it!
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Several days prior to driving across the state to a party she was planning with her family, a friend met up with us and we talked about happiness. She said she liked the word contentment better than happiness, along with the image of hanging out in a recliner after a day of meaningful work.
After her family party, she wrote me an email, sharing, rather cryptically, that her party planning turned out just okay, because,
“Sigh. Some days, happiness runs so fast!”
I loved her image of chasing happiness even more than the image of her reclining in contentment–although savoring contentment after a meaningful day is unequivocally awesome.
As it turns out, being naturally fleet, happiness prefers not being caught. Because happiness is in amazing shape, if you chase it, it will outrun you. Happiness never gets tired, but usually, before too long, it gets tired of you.
In the U.S., we’ve got an unhealthy preoccupation with happiness, as if it were an end-state we can eventually catch and convince to live with us. But happiness doesn’t believe in marriage—or even in shacking up. Happiness has commitment issues. Just as soon as you start thinking happiness might be here to stay, she/he/they disappears into the night.
But don’t let our pessimism get you down. Even though we’re not all that keen on pursuing happiness, we believe (a) once we’ve defined happiness appropriately, and (b) once we realize that instead of happiness, we should be pursuing meaningfulness.
Then, ironically or paradoxically or dialectically, after we stop chasing it, happiness will sneak back into our lives, sometimes landing on our shoulder like a delicate butterfly, and other times trumpeting like a magnificent elephant.
John Sommers-Flanagan 