Tag Archives: Happiness

Happiness

Check Out This Happiness Class (and Experiential Small Group) for ALL Adults

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molli-happiness-group-flyer-2024-1Download

Spring is coming: it’s a good time to try something new.

In collaboration with the MOLLI program on campus at the University of Montana, I’m offering a unique “Happiness” class that combines an initial lecture with 5 small group experiential discussions. The course begins in about 1 month (April 2, 2024). Here’s the course description:

Evidence-Based Happiness: An Experiential Approach

In this course, participants will learn about and experience seven different research-based approaches to achieving greater happiness. Using a unique format, participants will have one week of traditional lecture, followed by five weeks of small-group experiential learning sessions. Each small group (aka happiness lab) will meet to practice, experience, and discuss specific happiness interventions. Before each lab group, participants will be provided with a short reading and a short video to guide their weekly happiness practice. Specific positive psychology interventions to be covered include (a) three good things, (b) savoring, (c) gratitude, (d) cognitive behavior therapy, (e) forgiveness, (f) acts of kindness, (g) and the best possible self. Labs will be facilitated by graduate students in counseling and supervised by John Sommers-Flanagan.

Here’s a link to me talking about the course in a 2-minute video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3gAimLZPvU

And here’s a link to a cool promo flyer made by one of our M.A. students in Counseling:

molli-happiness-group-flyer-2024Download

The course is live and offered simultaneously in virtual and in-person formats. To enroll, you need to become a MOLLI member, which costs $0. The cost of the course is $70. If you do the math, you’ll see that’s about $12 per educational hour . . . which is a fantastic deal. The other fantastic part is that research indicates your participation may contribute to you feeling greater meaning and happiness.

For remote users, there are no borders. You can take it from anywhere: To enroll in the VIRTUAL (remote) course, click here, and if you’re not a MOLLI member, start by clicking on sign-in to become a member and then register: https://www.campusce.net/umtmolli/course/course.aspx?C=844&pc=38&mc=42&sc=0

To enroll in the IN-PERSON course, click here, and if you’re not a MOLLI member, start by clicking on sign-in to become a member and then register: https://www.campusce.net/umtmolli/course/course.aspx?C=844&pc=38&mc=45&sc=0

I hope to see you on April 2.

John SF

Happiness, Personal Reflections, Writing

Practicing Forgiveness – In Theory

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Last summer, when I taught our Happiness for Teachers course along with Lillian Martz, one of the most powerful assignments involved forgiveness. Even though we emphasized that the teachers taking our class didn’t need to actually engage in a forgiveness process, they shared incredibly deep and profound stories of betrayal, forgiveness, and the struggles in between. Here’s the assignment. Again, we’re not saying you need to engage in a forgiveness process. All we’re suggesting is for you to read this and think about forgiveness. Here’s the assignment:

Whether we’re talking self-forgiveness, forgiving others, or spiritual forgiveness, forgiveness is a big deal and a big ask.

For this learning activity, we don’t expect you to purge yourself of all personal guilt or become free from all resentments. Nevertheless, for this assignment, your job is to explore what forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and being forgiven might look like AND how forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and being forgiven might feel to you.

To do this activity, you’re not expected to actually do the forgiveness work; instead, you get to think about doing the forgiveness work and speculate on its effects. . . FOR YOU. Although forgiveness is probably the biggest issue we’ve tackled in this Happiness Challenge, the plan is for you to just take a small sip from the very large cup of potential forgiveness issues that we all have. If you want to go deeper and take a bigger drink, that’s perfectly fine, but that’s all up to you.

To get yourself oriented toward forgiveness you could (if you want) consider and access some of the following ideas and online resources:

Consider that forgiving others can improve your physical health. As Anne Lamott wrote in Traveling Mercies: “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Is there anyone other there toward whom you might offer forgiveness? You don’t even have to talk with them (although you can, if that works for you). You can just bring yourself to a place where you’ve let go of any lingering anger or resentment that you’re holding.

Listen to the Hidden Brain episode: The Power of Mercy. https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-power-of-mercy/

Listen to or read a short NPR piece on forgiveness: https://www.wvtf.org/2014-12-03/reach-forgiveness#stream/0  

Listen to Greater Good magazine’s podcast Episode 124: Nine Steps to Forgiveness https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/anoosha_syed_forgiveness_self-compassion_virtues  

Watch Oprah’s “Aha” moment on forgiveness. https://www.findcenter.com/video/24318/oprahs-forgiveness-aha-moment/everything-else

Forgiveness is a multidimensional and dynamic process. It’s also very hard. We wish you well as you consider this big issue.

Cool Counseling, Happiness, Writing

More Therapeutic Writing: The Best Possible Self

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Last week was about emotional journaling. This week, we stick with the power of words and writing and take a dive into an evidence-based therapeutic writing activity called the Best Possible Self.

You all already know about optimism and pessimism.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see the glass half empty. Still others, just drink and savor the water, without getting hung up on how much is in the glass. Obviously, there are many other responses, because some people spill the water, others find a permanent water source, and others skip the water and drink the wine or pop open a beer.

Reducing people to two personality types never works, but that doesn’t stop people from labeling themselves or others as optimists or pessimists. This week’s activity—The Best Possible Self—is an optimism activity. You don’t have to be a so-called optimist to use it. And the good news is, regardless of your labels, the Best Possible Self writing activity is supposed to crank up your sense of optimism. That’s cool, because generally speaking, optimism is a good thing. Here’s what the researchers say about the Best Possible Self (BPS) activity.

[The following is summarized from Layous, Nelson, and Lyubomirsky, 2012]. Writing about your Best Possible Self (also seen as a representation of your goals) shows long-term health benefits, increases life satisfaction, increases positive affect, increases optimism, and improves overall sense of well-being. Laura King, a professor at U of Missouri-Columbia developed the BPS activity.

King’s original BPS study involved college students writing about their Best Possible Selves for 15 minutes a day for two weeks. The process has been validated with populations other than college students. If you want to jump in that deep, go for it. On the other hand, if you want a lighter version, here’s a less committed alternative:

  • Spend 10 minutes a day for four consecutive days writing a narrative description of your “best possible future self.”
  • Pick a point in the future – write about what you’ll be doing/thinking then – and these things need to capture a vision of you being “your best” successful self or of having accomplished your life goals.
  • As with all these activities, monitor your reactions. Maybe you’ll love it and want to keep doing it. Maybe you won’t.
  • If you feel like it, you can share some of your #writing on social media.

Berkeley’s Greater Good website includes a nice summary of the BPS activity. Here’s a pdf from their website: 

best_possible_self-from-berkeleys-greater-goodDownload

Being a counseling and psychotherapy theories buff, I should mention that this fantastic assignment is very similar to the Adlerian “Future Autobiography.” Adler was way ahead of everyone on everything, so I’m not surprised that he was thinking of this first. Undoubtedly, Adler saw the glass half full, sipped and savored his share, and then shared it with his community. We should all be more like Adler.

Happiness

Low Cost Courses for Montana Educators — Beginning January 18

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Hello Everyone,

This post is for Montana Educators. Please forward this message to any Montana Educators you know. Due to support from the Arthur M. Blank Family Foundation, we have an opportunity to support Montana Educators with VERY LOW COST graduate credit courses on “Evidence-Based Happiness” through the University of Montana. We’re doing this because we deeply appreciate the work of Montana teachers and we believe this course and the added credits to their payscale is one way for us to support them.

Thanks for your help. Please share. Montana Educators are awesome.

Dear Montana Educators,

In collaboration with the Arthur M. Blank Family Foundation, the Montana Safe Schools Center, UMOnline, and the Montana Happiness Project, the Phyllis J. Washington College of Education at the University of Montana is pleased to offer very low-cost Graduate Credit courses on “Evidence-Based Happiness” exclusively designed for Montana Educators.

We have 3-credit ($195) and 1-credit ($70) options available, beginning January 18.

You can register at this link: https://www.campusce.net/umextended/course/course.aspx?C=712&pc=13&mc=&sc=

If you have questions, contact UMOnline via the preceding link, or John Sommers-Flanagan at john.sf@mso.umt.edu 

I’ve also attached a flyer describing the project and courses here:

happiness-for-educators-flyerDownload

Although seats are limited, please forward this information to other potentially interested Montana teachers. We will open as many sections as we can handle.

Thanks for all you do for Montana youth!

Sincerely,

John S-F

Happiness, Love, Parenting, Personal Reflections, Writing

What Do You Think of Me?

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When I was teaching social skills to elementary school-aged youth, one boy couldn’t stop talking about himself. Because I wanted the students to be interactive with and interested in each other, I intervened.

“Ask a question about her.”

He nodded, in apparent understanding. Returning to the activity, he followed my instructions (sort of), immediately asking,

“What do you think of me?”

The question, “What do you think of me?” is powerful. We all wonder this, at least occasionally, and perhaps constantly. As I just wrote in a previous blog post, being seen and known by others is a profound experience. Having your strengths and positive qualities reflected back to you by others is a gift: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2023/12/25/the-gift-of-being-seen/

This week, the Montana Happiness Project happiness challenge activity is called the Natural Talent Interview. You can read the details here: https://montanahappinessproject.com/natural-talent-interviews

The Natural Talent Interview requires vulnerability; it’s a challenging and potentially awkward assignment. I recommend it anyway. 😲

Here’s a link to the version of the Natural Talent Interview that we assign in the Happiness Course. Note: It includes a nice description of self-awareness and the Johari Window.

natural-talent-interviewsDownload

#MHPHappinessChallenge

Happiness, Writing

The Gift of Being Seen

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Rylee said there was an internet thing going around about how men should be more like women and start complimenting each other. Then we watched “Rye Lane” (two thumbs up). In the movie, the protagonist male tried out that compliment-another-guy thing; the guy he complimented told him to “Fuck off” and a few other things I won’t repeat.

Maybe compliments don’t translate all that well across genders. But maybe they do.

Years ago, I was doing psychotherapy with a Native American father and his teenage son. To try to help with their strained relationship, I coached the dad on being more authentically positive with his son. During the next session, I had them do a version of the “What’s good about you?” therapy activity.

I asked the son to sit across from his dad and ask, “What’s good about me?” ten times in a row. The only rules were that dad was supposed to give 10 different answers and respond honestly. The boy muttered along with an eye-roll. I felt nervous.

He looked at his dad and asked, “What’s good about me?”

The dad said, “You have a big heart.”

What’s good about me?

“You treat your mom with respect.”

What’s good about me?

“You love your sister.”

What’s good about me?

“You’re my son and I’m proud of you.”

The tears came slowly at first.

What’s good about me?

“You are intelligent”

It was over. They embraced, with the boy sobbing in his father’s arms.

The points: Parents can get so overfocused on providing constructive criticism to their children that their children don’t KNOW the inner strengths their parents see within them. In the preceding example, the teen boy was shocked—in a very positive way—to hear the strengths, skills, and talents that his father saw in him.

This can happen in all relationships. Nearly everyone wants to be seen and known. It’s probably easier to imagine—especially without clear and reassuring evidence—that others see our negative qualities. Our strengths can feel invisible, even to ourselves. It’s often hard to imagine that others notice anything good about us.

Some say that true self-esteem is all about self-evaluation, and not reliant on what others think of us. That’s partly true. But, it’s ridiculous to think that any of us can feel good about ourselves without at least getting occasional feedback about our strengths and positive qualities.

One new thing you can try this holiday season is to give the people you love the gift of seeing their strengths. It can be as simple as noticing and saying something that you think your friend or family member does well, like, “You’re really good at picking out just the right gifts.” Or, “You’re always so much fun to have around.” Or, “You make the best pumpkin pie.”

You can take this deeper if you want by noticing character traits and patterns. “You’re the most honest person I know, and I really value that.” “I love how you pay attention to your grandma. You are such a good person.”

Recognizing and naming the strengths and positive qualities of others is an amazing gift. You’re not just “seeing” people, you’re seeing, acknowledging, and articulating their best qualities. And by naming their best qualities, you’re not just giving them a compliment; you’re nurturing those qualities, and helping them grow.

I’ve taught a different version of this activity for years, and called it the “Natural Talent Interview.” For more on the Natural Talent Interview, which is this week’s Montana Happiness Challenge activity, go to the Montana Happiness Project’s webpage: https://montanahappinessproject.com/natural-talent-interviews

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Acts of Kindness . . . in Hawai’i

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This is our room with a view.

I’m a little embarrassed to report that Rita and I are on the Big Island of Hawai’i. We’re house-sitting for a friend. I know it’s hard work (insert eye-roll here). I have to wipe up the gecko poop and pee every morning. We’re here and experiencing this great fortune because a friend presented us with a very big act of kindness.

This week’s Montana Happiness Challenge is all about acts of kindness. Turns out, kindness is emotionally and psychologically healthy; this is true whether we engage in the act, receive the act, or observe the act. In a fascinating study titled, “Brief exposure to social media during the COVID-19 pandemic: Doom-scrolling has negative emotional consequences, but kindness-scrolling does not,” the researchers noted that doom scrolling during COVID reduced positive affect and optimism. In contrast, looking for positive stories of kindness on the internet either had no effect, or reduced negative affect.

As someone who has done more doom-scrolling than kindness scrolling, that’s good information to know. Here’s a link to the study: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0257728

Below, please find the kindness homework for this week. I know it’s Wednesday and the week is growing shorting, but I’ve found that being in Hawai’i is terribly distracting. Who knew?

Here’s a gecko trying to either work on or poop on my computer.

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About a decade or two ago, the concept, “Random acts of kindness” gained traction. Now, about a decade or two later, I’m a little sad that random acts of kindness has become the most common way we talk about kindness. I say this despite the fact that I’m a big fan of randomness and kindness.

For your assignment this week, I’d like all of us to break away from the mentality of randomness and embrace the mentality of intentionality.

Intentional acts give us—as actors in the grand theater of life—greater agency. Instead of being stuck with a script someone else wrote, when we embrace intentionality, we become the author of every scene. Rather than randomly responding to opportunities with kindness, we exert our will. What this means is that when an opportunity for kindness pops up, we already have a plan . . . and that plan involves creatively finding a way to respond with kindness. How cool is that?

Let’s think about this together.

Toward whom would you like to demonstrate kindness? A stranger? If so, it might feel random in that you might act kind in a moment of spontaneity. But your spontaneity—although wonderful—is a moment when your intentionality (to be a person who acts with kindness) meets opportunity. In this way, even acts toward strangers that seem or feel spontaneous, will be acts that reflect your deeper values and character.

Maybe you’d like to intentionally be kind to a friend, a parent, or a sibling. Again, this requires thought and planning and the ability to step outside yourself. Assuming that others want what you want can backfire. You’ll need to step into another person’s world: What would your friend, parent, or sibling appreciate? 

To stay with the theater metaphor, you’re the script-writer and you’ve written yourself into this performance. For this week, the script or plan includes a character who values kindness and who watches for opportunities to share that value with others. You’re that character.

Your job is to translate your character trait of kindness into actions that represent kindness. I don’t what that will look like for you. Maybe you don’t either. That’s the magic—where your character meets opportunity and opportunity meets planned spontaneity.

Your other job is to share about your kindness experiences on social media. You can share your efforts to act with kindness or share your experience of someone acting with kindness toward you.

Have a fabulous and kindness-filled week!

John

Happiness, Writing

Griz Win! Time to Relax

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Thanks to BEN ALLAN SMITH of the Missoulian for this fantastic photo!

Now that the University of Montana Grizzly football team won today, and will be going to the FCS Championship game, we can all relax. Of course, I’m joking, but I know some fans (not necessarily me) have lots of trouble relaxing while their favorite team is playing, and many of them (not necessarily me) will be out celebrating, and not at home relaxing. Of course, all that cheering and jeering and beering may not be optimal for our health, but I want to emphasize that just because this week’s happiness challenge activity is “Your favorite relaxation method,” I’m not suggesting that anyone should relax (other than the kickers) when you’re in (or cheering) a double overtime semi-final game.

That said, I hope, at some point during this weekend, everyone takes time to explore and experiment with their favorite relaxation method. As I’ve already noted on social media, relaxation is a viable and evidence-based intervention for several different problems and mental disorders. Indeed, learning relaxation skills—so you can use them when you want to use them—is a very good deal.

In 1975, Herbert Benson of Harvard University published a book titled, The Relaxation Response. Benson wrote that for humans to achieve the relaxation response, they need four components:

  1. A quiet place.
  2. A comfortable position.
  3. A mental device.
  4. A passive attitude.

Benson’s research was pretty phenomenal. When people were able to create a state of relaxation within themselves, they experienced physiological and psychological benefits similar to (but not quite as good as) the benefits of sleep. For this reason, I sometimes refer to the relaxation response as “almost sleep” and recommend it as an in-bed goal for those of us who suffer from insomnia.

The relaxation response involves slowing your respiration and heart rate, with a concomitant reduction of blood pressure. People can achieve the relaxation response via different pathways. . .  including, but not limited to methods like deep breathing, visualization, meditation, and self-hypnosis.

For this assignment, your job is to identify and practice your favorite pathway for reducing your heart rated and breathing (aka your relaxation method). The good news is that you don’t really need a quiet place and a comfortable position (although they help, they’re not essential). But you do need a mental device and a passive attitude.

Unfortunately, as it turns out, for some people, the act of trying to relax creates anxiety. This is a puzzling paradox. Why would trying to relax trigger anxiety?

The intent to relax can trigger anxiety in several different ways. For some, if you try to relax, you can also trigger worries about not being able to relax. This is a relatively natural byproduct of self-consciousness. If this is the case for you, take it slowly. Self-awareness can trigger self-consciousness and self-consciousness can trigger anxiety . . . but time and practice can overcome these obstacles.

For others, a history of trauma or physical discomfort can be activated. This is similar to self-consciousness because the turning of your attention to your body inevitably makes you more aware of your body and this awareness can draw you into old, emotionally or physically painful memories. If this is the case for you, again, take it slowly. Also, manage your expectations, and get support as needed. Support could come in the form of specific comforting and soothing cues (even physical cues), an outside support person, or a professional counselor or psychotherapist.

Trauma and anxiety are common human challenges. Although trauma and anxiety can be terribly emotionally disturbing and disruptive, the core treatment for these problems usually involves one or more forms of exposure and can be traced back to Mary Cover Jones. You can read more about Mary Cover Jones and her amazing work on my blog: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2018/06/04/the-secret-self-regulation-cure-seriously-this-time/

Okay, that’s enough of my jibber-jabbering. Here’s the activity:

  1. Try integrating your favorite relaxation method (no drugs please) into your daily life. You can do it for a minute here and there, or 20 minutes all at once.
  2. Experiment! Try different methods for helping your body achieve a relaxed state.
  3. If you feel inspired, share about your relaxation experiences here, or on social media, or with your friends and family,

I hope you all become fantastic at relaxing . . . at least until the Grizzlies face South Dakota State for the national championship on January 7.

Happiness, Personal Reflections

Exploring Irritability with CBT

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Irritability is a fascinating experience. It’s hard to perfectly describe, so I looked up the definition online. Dictionary says: “The quality or state of being irritable.” Hahaha. This is the sort of helpfulness I’ve been experiencing from the pesky universe lately. . . with the exception of the IT guy who helped me for 45 minutes a couple weeks ago. He was nice and tried to help, but sadly, I’m the guy who was once told by IT person at UM that maybe I had swallowed a magnet because of how well electronics work in my presence. Maybe it’s my magnetic personality? Even more hahaha.

Let’s get back to irritability. Lately, I’ve been beset with intermittent bouts of irritability, which, I understand is the quality or state of being irritable. The definition of irritable is more illuminating: “having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed or made angry.”

Yes, I’ve got that. In my defense, there are SO MANY irritating things in the world.

But there’s really no good excuse for my irritability. I feel it burble up, usually in response to something psychologically, emotionally, or physically painful. I’ve had some chronic pain for the past three months, which makes it easier for my irritability button to get pushed. I’ve also had more than my share of tech problems.

After working out at the gym, a particular Dean whom I saw on campus, asked me, “Did you have a good workout?” I muttered something about never having good workouts anymore. Not surprisingly, he noticed my irritability. Then he shared a few Buddhist thoughts about “All is suffering” with me. Despite my internal lean toward being “easily annoyed” (even with my friend the Dean) I listened and immediately glimpsed my lifelong nemesis peeking at me from around the corner. No . . . it wasn’t the Dean, or Lee Jeffries the red-headed bully who tormented me in junior high. Strangely, my lifelong nemesis happens to be the nemesis of many. I’m betting it may be yours as well.

Given that our nemesis has multitudes, let’s give it the pronoun they. They have a name. Expectations.

My expectations are routinely laughably unrealistic. I know that about myself. I also know that when I set myself up with expectations for an hour or a day, the hour or the day includes more irritability. My friend the Dean was commenting on the All-American tendency to expect happiness, whereas the Buddhists embrace that “all is suffering.” 

Several weeks ago, the focus of the Happiness Challenge was on goal-setting. I didn’t do much goal-setting back then, which is okay, because goal-setting should happen when we’re ready for goal-setting. I also know that this week’s Happiness Challenge is about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). And so this week I’ve been working on a goal to be more immediately self-aware of my expectations and irritability triggers, and to make a concerted effort to manage my irritability in ways I feel good about.

To enhance my self-awareness, I completed the “column technique” for myself and my relationship with irritability. Although I’m not a natural fan of CBT, I found the process helpful, if not illuminating. What was most helpful was to fill out the columns—like a journal—and then read through what I had written. My response was to feel a little embarrassed at the triviality of my irritability triggers. And . . . as Alfred Adler wrote about a century ago, insight (aka self-awareness) is a natural motivator.

For anyone interested, here’s my completed column log activity.

ch-8-lab-tech-irritability-jsfDownload

In the end, glimpsing my process and experiences through the column technique this week has made me more motivated that ever to address my irritability in a positive and constructive way.

Counseling and Psychotherapy Theory and Practice, Happiness

CBT 4 U

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Humans are thinking and meaning-making beings. You can argue the opposite, but that would require thinking and meaning-making.

Somewhere around 1637, René Descartes said it this way,

“Cogito, ergo sum.”

The English translation,

“I think, therefore I am.”

Cool stuff. I wish I’d known Descartes.

After several decades of studying psychological theories, I’m ready to make my own fancy Cartesian philosophical statement about human thinking. It’s less succinct than Descartes, because, well, I’m not Descartes. Here we go.

First, in Latin (because even though I had to type the words into the Google Latin translator, using Latin makes everyone sound smarter).

“Cogito ergo sum ego possit cogitare et in tempore angustiae triumphi.”

Now, in English.

“I think therefore I am able to think myself into trouble or triumph.”

Inevitably, the more we think, the more we’re able to create personal misery. Alternatively, as we know all too well from political or romantic or employment or online relationships, we’re also quite capable of rationalizing behaviors and describing ourselves in ways that makes us feel and sound better than we are in reality. We easily and naturally think our way toward trouble and triumph.

One popular contemporary term that speaks to miserable and unhelpful thinking is “overthinking.” Overthinking refers to excessive analysis around actions or decision-making. Overthinking is usually considered a less-than-optimal style that sometimes leads to paralysis by analysis.

Unfortunately, although life is better when we avoid overthinking, “underthinking” is equally bad. Underthinking results in impulsive and thoughtless behaviors and decisions.

As if life wasn’t already hard enough, like Goldilocks, now we have to avoid overthinking and underthinking, and find just the right amount of thinking.

This brings us to our happiness activity for the week.

Think of a recent time you felt significant emotional distress. . . and then answer the following questions.

  1. Using emotion words and a rating scale of 0-100, how would you label the emotions and sensations you experienced? [For example, “I felt anger at 80, sadness at 60, and my body was very tense and physically agitated]
  2. Describe the situation that triggered your emotions and sensations. [For example, “I ran into my ‘ex’ at the store”]
  3. Identify and give words to the thoughts you have in response to the situation-trigger and that contribute to your emotions-sensations [“I thought, that asshole is one cold and mean person. I hate that he/she/they looks so smug” and/or “Stupidly, I still miss him/her/they.”]
  4. Identify and give words to different thoughts you could use to “feel” better and different behaviors you could do that would be positive coping [You could think, “I sure dodged a bullet there” and/or “I think I’ll go for a run and have a healthy salad for lunch because that always helps me feel good about myself.”]
  5. Re-rate your emotions and re-describe your sensations after you’ve tried out your alternative thoughts and behaviors.

If you want a longer description of how to use a similar process called the six-column technique, go to: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2014/02/18/how-to-use-the-six-column-cbt-technique/