Last summer, when I taught our Happiness for Teachers course along with Lillian Martz, one of the most powerful assignments involved forgiveness. Even though we emphasized that the teachers taking our class didn’t need to actually engage in a forgiveness process, they shared incredibly deep and profound stories of betrayal, forgiveness, and the struggles in between. Here’s the assignment. Again, we’re not saying you need to engage in a forgiveness process. All we’re suggesting is for you to read this and think about forgiveness. Here’s the assignment:

Whether we’re talking self-forgiveness, forgiving others, or spiritual forgiveness, forgiveness is a big deal and a big ask.

For this learning activity, we don’t expect you to purge yourself of all personal guilt or become free from all resentments. Nevertheless, for this assignment, your job is to explore what forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and being forgiven might look like AND how forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and being forgiven might feel to you.

To do this activity, you’re not expected to actually do the forgiveness work; instead, you get to think about doing the forgiveness work and speculate on its effects. . . FOR YOU. Although forgiveness is probably the biggest issue we’ve tackled in this Happiness Challenge, the plan is for you to just take a small sip from the very large cup of potential forgiveness issues that we all have. If you want to go deeper and take a bigger drink, that’s perfectly fine, but that’s all up to you.

To get yourself oriented toward forgiveness you could (if you want) consider and access some of the following ideas and online resources:

Consider that forgiving others can improve your physical health. As Anne Lamott wrote in Traveling Mercies: “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” Is there anyone other there toward whom you might offer forgiveness? You don’t even have to talk with them (although you can, if that works for you). You can just bring yourself to a place where you’ve let go of any lingering anger or resentment that you’re holding.

Listen to the Hidden Brain episode: The Power of Mercy. https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-power-of-mercy/

Listen to or read a short NPR piece on forgiveness: https://www.wvtf.org/2014-12-03/reach-forgiveness#stream/0  

Listen to Greater Good magazine’s podcast Episode 124: Nine Steps to Forgiveness https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/anoosha_syed_forgiveness_self-compassion_virtues  

Watch Oprah’s “Aha” moment on forgiveness. https://www.findcenter.com/video/24318/oprahs-forgiveness-aha-moment/everything-else

Forgiveness is a multidimensional and dynamic process. It’s also very hard. We wish you well as you consider this big issue.