Tag Archives: spirituality

Spirituality and Happiness: Summarizing the Happiness Class Spirituality Panel

Kid Art

Today we had a spirituality panel in the Art & Science of Happiness class. Featured guests were Community Chaplain, Courtney Arntzen, Lama Tsomo, and Rabbi Mark Hayim Kula. Rita S-F was also featured as the panel moderator. I sat on the side of the room, desperately seeking enlightenment.

Over the years I’ve taken to poking fun at the highly regarded statistical procedure called meta-analysis. I like to make fun of it because, in essence, meta-analytic findings are a summary of a summary of a summary. Today, in our class, the distinguished panelists were given tiny shreds of time during which they offered brief anecdotes, summaries, analogies, and facts about their three spiritual traditions. Providing them with such little time was a disservice that we all tolerated in the service of experiencing 80 minutes of their wisdom. And now, I’ll be doing that disservice a disservice by trying to summarize a few salient points. Meta-analysis never looked so deep.

In this oversimplification of the rich and amazing information we experienced today, I’m including a prequel, a dialectic, and a sequel. Here’s the prequel.

Lama Tsomo began by pointing out that when we stub our toe, our whole self hurts. She followed up with how Tibetan methods are useful for getting us out of our individual ego, and noted that although we should love our neighbors as ourselves, many of us aren’t all that good at loving ourselves. In the end, she put us all together in a metaphoric ocean where we are both all interconnected, but all individuals.

Courtney Arntzen began with a heartfelt apology, “For ways my faith has hurt or wounded you or told you that you’re not enough or not loved.” She followed this with the old testament message of loving the lord with all your heart and soul and strength, combined with the new testament message of loving your neighbor as yourself.

Rabbi Mark asked the students if they’re feeling happier from their experience in the class. Some heads nodded. I wanted to leap up and tell everyone on the class that they God Damn better be feeling happier, but that seemed spiritually inappropriate for someone seeking enlightenment. Then Mark said that his final exam for the class would be “Are you happy?” He went on to discuss how one of the Jewish commandments is to be happy and pursue joyfulness.

Overall, and here’s where my silly oversimplification feels terribly limited, I thought the main messages coalesced dialectics. In case you’re not carrying your counseling theories textbook with you all the time (yet), here’s a definition for dialectic: “A dialectic is a process where learning is stimulated from the integration of opposites” (Sommers-Flanagan & Sommers-Flanagan, 2018, p. 90; yes, quoting myself hereJ).

All three spiritual disciplines featured today emphasized that happiness for the self is directly related to the happiness you offer others. Whether it was all of us being interconnected in the ocean, or the message that to dismiss the other is to negate God’s work, I kept hearing how deeply important it is for us to love ourselves well and to love others just as well. Rabbi Mark suggested that we carry two different messages, one in each pocket. The first, we should pull out when feeling down, “The entire world is was made for you.” The second is good to read when feeling overconfident, “I am a mere speck of dust.” Yes! Learning from dialectics.

Eventually the conversation leaned into forgiveness. Everyone embraced the idea that we can be quick condemn ourselves and others, and that forgiveness is a decision or empowered choice. We need to get beyond who’s right and who’s wrong. We need to accept grace for ourselves, but also for others. None of us is perfect; we are all striving. More dialectics.

Some small fireworks were ignited twice. Rita asked Courtney about her thoughts on whether self-esteem was evil. Turns out, Courtney not only had thoughts about that particular idea, she also had feelings. She made it clear that because we’re all God’s creation, “instead of negating what God loves, I try to be compassionate and kind to myself.” She extended that principle to loving one’s neighbor and to loving and being a steward of the universe.

Toward the end of the panel discussion Rabbi Mark and Lama Tsomo were readying themselves for spiritual combat, but Rita, being mindful of time, transitioned to the next topic. Lama Tsomo lamented that lost opportunity because, “I wanted to debate, because Jewish debate is a great way to get to the truth.”

Although I’m sad to have missed out on a good old Buddhist-Jewish debate, I think we managed to get to some truth anyway.

To end, Lama Tsomo led us all in mindfulness meditation. She gently recommended that we meditate with our eyes open, because we want to go through life with our eyes open (and keeping our eyes open also reduces the chances of falling asleep while meditating).

My take home message for the day was something like this, “I need to meditate with my eyes wide open in order to illuminate my mind to the idea and action that psychological, spiritual, and religious practice is a practice that requires repetition and a commitment to being perfect creations who imperfectly strive to act out values of loving others, loving ourselves, and loving God (aka the great ocean of wisdom).”

Thanks to Courtney, Mark, and Tsomo. Thanks also to Rita and to the Happiness class.

I am grateful.

I am still practicing.

 

 

A #Spirituality Blog from Rita S-F — Playing the Fool — Short visits with an honest God

I’m sharing this blog from Rita on this beautiful and snowy Sunday morning. If you like unorthodox spirituality stuff, check it out!

It’s been reported that God has a special fondness for fallen sparrows, fools, and small children which may be why he gets such a kick out of startling me. This morning, he arose in a ghostly puff of sawdust from the bottom of the woodpile and like a gleeful child, said “Boo.” “NOT FUNNY,” I […]

via Playing the Fool — Short visits with an honest God

Revisiting Rita’s Blog

Hi All.

You know how relationships can be. Sometimes it’s easy to take the person whom you’re living with or hanging out with for granted. This morning, I was reminded (again) that Rita is a very talented writer. So I’m sharing with you a link to her blog. Warning: Rita is exploring varieties of “God” manifestations in the world. It may not be your cup of tea; on the other hand, you might like the idea of ongoing conversations with God and therefore you might love her writing. In this blog-episode, God is coming back from a short vacation. If you’re interested, check it out.

via God Comes Back

Choice Theory/Reality Therapy and Spirituality

John and Bob Wubbolding 2017 B

Counseling and psychotherapy theories are wildly variable and surprisingly convergent. What do I mean by this? Well, despite the fact that Sigmund Freud and Francine Shapiro and Steven Hayes and Marsha Linehan have very different ideas about what helps people change for the better, there’s also a boatload of commonality.

Based on my narrow range of experience and knowledge, nowhere is there more commonality than the theoretical outposts of Adlerian theory (i.e., Individual Psychology) and Choice Theory/Reality Therapy. Both of these approaches include a broad theoretical concept related to an individual’s personal and cultural construction of how they view themselves, others, and the world (i.e., Adlerians say “Lifestyle” while Reality Therapists say “Quality World”); both perspectives view individuals as pulled forward by internal values (and not driven by Freudian conflicts); both perspectives view behavior as purposeful, and perhaps not coincidently, they also view psychopathology as purposeful.

All this theory-speak is way for me to introduce this post as a continuation of my spirituality and counseling/psychotherapy theories series. What’s especially interesting about this post (IMHO) is that I’m writing about spirituality and Reality Therapy. I mean, how can a form of therapy that explicitly emphasizes “reality,” accommodate “spirituality?” We’ll see about that . . . maybe.

Chapter 9 of Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice focuses on choice theory and reality therapy. Many people may not perfectly understand the definitions of choice theory and reality therapy. As a quick refresher, here’s an excerpt from the beginning of Chapter 9, followed by the brief spirituality section.

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Reality therapy is often oversimplified and confused with confrontational therapeutic approaches. In this chapter we describe and explain the nuances and clarify the confusion.

What is Choice Theory and Reality Therapy?

Glasser developed reality therapy in the 1960s. Later, recognizing that he needed a theoretical foundation for his therapeutic approach, he began exploring cybernetics and control system theory (Powers, 1973; Wiener, 1948). Initially, Glasser used control theory to explain reality therapy. Later, he adapted the theoretical model and shifted to using choice theory (Glasser, 1998).

Choice theory is based on the idea that conscious behaviors are chosen in an effort to satisfy one of five internal basic human needs (Wubbolding & Brickel, 2017). The human mind or brain acts as a “negative input control system,” providing feedback to individuals so that they can correct behaviors and continue getting what they need and want (Wubbolding, 2012, p. 13).

Reality therapy is a present-focused, directive therapeutic approach designed to help individuals identify and satisfy their needs and wants more consistently and adaptively. As Wubbolding (2012) has written, “If choice theory is the track, reality therapy is the train that delivers the product” (p. 5).

Choice Theory, Reality Therapy, and Spirituality

In the 1989 Spring issue of the Journal of Reality Therapy, Brent Dennis, a certified reality therapist, wrote an article titled, “Faith: The fifth psychological need.” Glasser (1989) responded later that year. Glasser noted that he found the discussion interesting, but that there is “no possible way to resolve an argument about belief” (p. 29). He concluded with a statement embracing inclusiveness toward whatever anyone might place in their quality world. Consistent with this perspective, contemporary reality therapists have published book chapters on how to help interfaith and multicultural couples succeed in their partnerships and marriages (Minatrea & Duba, 2012; Olver, 2012). It’s interesting however, that Glasser described faith as residing in an individual’s quality world; he did not embrace it as a new psychological human need.

In an article on integrating reality therapy into Malaysian Islamic culture, Jusoh and Ahmad (2009) described many ways in which choice theory is consistent with Islam and can be practiced in Asian cultures. Specifically, they focused on the WDEP and SAMI2C3 systems and emphasized their compatibility with Islamic concepts. They concluded that “choice theory and reality therapy have universal attributes, and these can be interpreted in any religion or culture” (2009, p. 7). This statement seems consistent with Glasser’s (1989) inclusive statement on spirituality as a potential human need.

Overall, aside from the content briefly summarized here, little information exists on the integration of spirituality into reality therapy. However, given the growing international flavor of CT/RT, progress in this area seems inevitable.

 

CBT and Spirituality

Evening Snow Absarokee

We have a friend who is the pastor of a church in Absarokee, Montana. My impression is that she frequently talks about theories of counseling and psychotherapy . . . even though I’m sure she hasn’t planned to integrate psychological theory into her sermons. The fact that I hear psychological theories as she talks theology is just another way in which the lens of the listener frames what is heard, seen, and experienced.

Today she was preaching about feelings of inferiority. She made the case, as Adler would, that inferiority feelings are natural and normal. Then she shifted to God’s acceptance or grace. Surprisingly (to me) her focus on acceptance reminded me of Albert Ellis’s REBT and his concept of universal self-acceptance. Although my friend was speaking about God’s acceptance of all humans, regardless of our warts and behaviors, I found myself thinking of times when I’ve heard parents express deep acceptance of their children and of when clients have strived to experience greater self-acceptance.

All this brought me to a place where I started thinking about how Ellis and his REBT model might actually have a spiritual dimension. “That was pleasantly unexpected” I thought to myself . . . which prompted me to write this Sunday evening spirituality post.

The following is an excerpt (preview) from the cognitive behavior chapter of the forthcoming 3rd edition of Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice. Please let me know what you think.

CBT and Spirituality

Like all therapists, cognitive behavior therapists work with religious or spiritual clients. Given that cognitively oriented therapists routinely identify and challenge (either through disputation or collaborative empiricism) client beliefs, there’s a risk that clients’ deeply held religious or spiritual beliefs might also be challenged. Additionally, practiced as a radical modernist scientific paradigm, CBT has been critiqued for overlooking transcendence, grace, and evil (Stewart-Sicking, 2015).

Looking at the situation logically (which cognitive theorists would appreciate), CBT practitioners have three options:

  1. Ignore client religion and spirituality.
  2. Freely challenge religious beliefs, whenever they cause emotional distress.
  3. Integrate religious/spiritual knowledge into practice in a way that supports nuanced discussions of religion and spirituality. Unhelpful or irrational thoughts might be questioned, as needed, but not central religious values (Johnson, 2013).

Historically, cognitive therapists have followed these first two options, mostly ignoring religion, or questioning its rational foundations (Andersson & Asmundson, 2006; Nielsen & Ellis, 1994). However, in the past decade or two, interest in integrating religion/spirituality into counseling and psychotherapy has increased (Stewart-Sicking, 2015).

It can help to think about client religion/spirituality as a multicultural/diversity issue. If so, the general guide is for therapists to (a) seek awareness of their own spiritual and religious attitudes and how they might affect counseling process and specific clients, (b) obtain relevant knowledge about religion/spirituality, (c) learn religion/spirituality specific skills, and (d) advocate for individuals who are oppressed on the basis of religion/spirituality as needed and as appropriate. Each of these cultural competence components can be stimulating for individual practitioners.

For practitioners interested in religion/spirituality integration with cognitive approaches, the following two areas can provide focus for further training and development.

Gain and Apply Scriptural Knowledge with Clients

Gaining knowledge regarding how to use specific religious scriptures to dispute irrational or maladaptive cognitions may seem daunting. However, from an REBT perspective, Nielsen (2001) wrote:

Since clients usually upset themselves through their awfulizing, demanding, frustration intolerance, and human rating, REBTers need only search Scriptures that decatastrophize life, suggest forbearance in the face of uncontrollable people and situations, tolerance of life’s frustrations, and that affirm basic human equality. The prominent religious writings of most major world religions emphasize such rational values. (p. 38)

Using scriptural knowledge would be most appropriate when working with clients who have similar religious beliefs. Nielsen (2001) is advocating general knowledge, but general knowledge could prove problematic. For example, if a Jewish therapist quoted the Koran to a Muslim client, the discussion might quickly shift away from being therapeutic. On the other hand, having general knowledge, if used sensitively, could represent appreciation of religious diversity and enhance the working alliance.

Use Spiritual Principles of Acceptance for Managing Disturbing Cognitions.

Contemporary CBT approaches (covered in Chapter 14) offer an alternative way of viewing and handling so-called irrational or maladaptive cognitions. These approaches include acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT). ACT, DBT, and MBCT integrate religious/spiritual philosophy (e.g., Buddhism, contemplative Christian, etc.) and generally view cognitions as disturbing, but not necessarily pathological. Acceptance of all cognitions is advocated; encouraging clients to dispute or restructure their thoughts, memories, and experiences can increase suffering (Hayes, 2016).

 

Behavior Therapy and Spirituality

1974 Football Cropped II

The whole idea of integrating behavior therapy with religion and spirituality might seem odd or off or impossible. But here in Theories Land, we don’t believe in the impossible. In fact, many religious folks do just fine with behavior therapy and many behavior therapists do just fine with religious folks. If you think about it, for behaviorists, the focus is purely on problematic behaviors. In some ways, this naturally leads to an acceptance of all people . . . .

Put another way, for behaviorists, there’s no room or need for discrimination based on race, sexuality, or religion. Behaviorists work with all people to help them with their problem behaviors.

Rather than digressing into the political, let’s refocus on behavior therapy and spirituality. Here’s the short section from the 3rd edition of Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice. If you feel moved (by the spirit, or anything else), please let me know what you think.

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Strict behaviorists don’t believe in the utility of cognition. The clients’ problems are behaviors. Behavioral treatments involve new learning to facilitate behavior change. If you stick with the perspective that cognition is irrelevant—which is the perspective we’re sticking with in this chapter—then client religious or spiritual beliefs are also not relevant.

Considering religious and spiritual beliefs as irrelevant doesn’t imply disrespect for religious and spiritual beliefs. Behaviorists are respectful of beliefs, but the focus of therapy would be on behaviors—these behaviors could include religious or spiritual behaviors. If you’re following the logic here, then you can see that behavior therapy is 100% compatible with religion and spirituality.

The focus of behavior therapy with religious and spiritual clients would be on behaviors that are related to religion and spirituality. From a behavioral model, the question is, “Are your religious/spiritual behaviors causing you distress or contributing to your well-being?” The good news about this is that behavior therapy is an evidence-based approach for modifying behavior, including the development of positive and healthy habits (and behaviors commonly thought of as representing self-control and self-discipline). The focus on enhancing self-control and self-discipline is a good fit for clients with religious or spiritual orientations (Shapiro, 1978).

Researchers have explored the relationship between behavioral activation and client values. In one study, it was found that when individuals with high intrinsic religious values engaged in a greater frequency of religious behaviors, they reported reduced depressive symptoms (Agishtein et al., 2013). Conversely, for individuals with low intrinsic religious values, increasing religious behaviors were associated with more depressive symptoms. In conclusion, despite disregard for religious/spiritual beliefs, a strict behavioral approach can be used to increase or decrease specific religious and spiritual behaviors. . . and increasing or decreasing specific religious and spiritual behaviors may be therapeutic—depending on the individual client and his/her/their situation.