Tag Archives: Savoring

Happiness, Personal Reflections, Writing

Exploring Your Eudaimonic Belongingness Sweet-Spot at West Creek Ranch

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[Moon Rise at West Creek Ranch]

This past week I spent four days at West Creek Ranch, where I was forced to eat gourmet food, do sunrise yoga, experience a ropes course (briefly becoming a “flying squirrel”), watch a reflective horse session, dance away one night, hike in the beautiful Paradise Valley, and hang out, converse, and learn from about 25 very smart/cool/fancy people. Yes, it was a painful and grueling experience—which I did not deserve—but of which I happily partook.

On the first morning, I provided a brief presentation to the group on the concept of belonging, from the perspective of the Montana Happiness Project. Despite having shamefully forgotten to take off my socks during the sunrise morning yoga session, and having anxiety about whether or not I belonged with this incredible group of people, they let me belong. They also laughed at all the right moments during my initial mini-comedy routine, and then engaged completely in a serious reflective activity involving them sharing their eudaimonic belongingness sweet-spots with each other.

If you don’t know what YOUR eudaimonic belongingness sweet-spot is, you’re not alone (because hardly anyone knows what I mean by that particular jumble of words). That’s because, as a university professor, I took the liberty of making that phrase up, while at the same time, noting that it’s derived from some old Aristotelean writings. Yes, that’s what university professors do. Here’s the definition that I half stole and half made up.

That place where the flowering of your greatest (and unique) virtues, gifts, skills, talents, and resources intersect (over time) with the needs of the world [or your community or family].

I hope you take a moment to reflect on that definition and how it is manifest in who you are, and how you are in your relationships with others. If you’re reading this blog post, I suspect that you’re a conscious and sentient entity who makes a positive difference in the lives of others in ways that are uniquely you. Because we can’t and don’t always see ourselves as others see us, in our University of Montana Happiness course, we have an assignment called the Natural Talent Interview designed to help you gain perspective on your own distinct and distinctive positive qualities. You can find info on the Natural Talent Interview here: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2023/12/26/what-do-you-think-of-me/

And my West Creek presentation powerpoint slides (all nine of them) are here:  

AMBFF West Creek John SFDownload

You may have missed the main point of this blog post—which would be easy because I’m writing like a semi-sarcastic and erudite runaway loose association train that’s so busy whistling that it can’t make a point. My main point is GRATITUDE. Big, vast, and immense gratitude. Gratitude for the Arthur M. Blank Family Foundation (AMBFF) and our massively helpful program officers. Gratitude for our retreat facilitators. Gratitude for the staff at West Creek Ranch. Gratitude for the presence of everyone at the gathering. And gratitude for the therapeutic feelings of belonging I had the luxury of ruminating on all week. My experience was so good that I’m still savoring it like whatever you think might be worth savoring and then end up savoring even more than you expected.

Thank you AMBFF and Arthur Blank for your unrelenting generosity and laser-focus on how we can come together as community and make the world a better place.

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*Note: At the Montana Happiness Project, we do not support toxic positivity. What I mean by that is: (a) no one should ever tell anyone else to cheer up (that’s just offensive and emotionally dismissive), and (b) although we reap benefits from shifting our thinking and emotions in positive directions, we also reap similar benefits from writing and talking about trauma, life challenges, and social injustice. As humans, we are walking dialectics, meaning we grow from exploring the negative as well as the positive in life. We are multitudes, simultaneously learning and growing in many directions.

Happiness, Love, Personal Reflections

Savoring these Savoring Videos

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In the summer of 2022, we held a Strengths-Based Suicide and Happiness retreat at Boulder Hot Springs in Montana. The food was excellent and well-worth savoring every nibble. Additionally, we encouraged all the participants to do approximately 1-minute videos focusing on a practice in their lives that they believe to be helpful to their happiness.

Here’s Charlie, talking about savoring his experiences as a one-man heavy metal band

Charlie — We Rip

I think these videos are incredible. I love what everyone says. . . and appreciate the participants, the messages, and the videographers. I find myself savoring these savoring videos.

Below, I’m including a few links to more of our retreat videos that, more or less, focus on savoring. They’re short, they’re cool, and I hope you watch, savor, and reflect on how you might do even more savoring in your life. Who knows, maybe you’ll even make your own social media video and share it with us and the world!

Joyce – Happy Grandma: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP36toKBS4E

Sidney – Feel It: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1nQ2uKufNg

Jennifer – Savoring: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2WrLATF7QY

Chris – The Savoring Mindset: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHTQiQEbFXk

Dylan – Bring in the Light: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGtO–GhL2U

John – Color and Art: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuFsGa3PhRo

Happiness, Research

Savor This!

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As many of you who know me in-person or through this blog, I’m quite capable of backward-savoring. . . which might be why I find this week’s Montana Happiness Challenge activity especially compelling.

Savoring is defined as a deliberate effort to extend and expand positive experiences. Or, as I learned from Dr. Heidi Zetzer of the University of California, Santa Barbara, “Savoring is amplifying and extending positive emotions, by lingering, reveling, relishing, or something even more active like taking a victory lap! I also stole this photo from one of Heidi’s happiness slides. Thanks Heidi!!

So, how can anyone—or me—do savoring backward? Enter another fun word: Rumination.

Dictionary.com defines rumination as (1) a deep or considered thought about something. Or, (2) the action of chewing the cud.

Essentially, to ruminate is to think hard. You may be ruminating right now, wondering, “What’s backward or bad about thinking hard.”

Well, in the domain of mental health, we focus on a particular type of rumination. For example, according to the American Psychiatric Association, “Rumination involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences.”

Thinking hard about negative things is precisely the opposite of savoring. And, despite my surface penchant for the positive, both my wife and I would attest to the fact that I’m also an excellent ruminator—as in the psychiatric sense, not so much in the cud-chewing sense.

As we like to say in academia, the research on savoring is damn good. Well, maybe we don’t really like to say “damn good,” but I’m sure someone has said that at some point in time, probably while savoring all the savoring research.  

How good is the research, you ask?

People instructed to savor, depending on the type of savoring, generally report improved mood, increased satisfaction, greater hope for positive life events, increased planning, and a greater likelihood of repeating a previously savor-worthy experience. Just savor that for an extra moment or two. For something so simple, savoring research has damn good outcomes.

This week, our Montana Happiness Challenge savoring activity provides you with a menu of different savoring activities to try out. You can read the details on the Montana Happiness Project website: https://montanahappinessproject.com/savoring

The summary is: For this week the plan is for you to pick one savoring assignment from a menu of research-based savoring activities (below). Each of these activities has research support; doing any of them might make you feel significantly more happiness or less depression. Here are your options:

  • Engage in mutual reminiscence. Mutual reminiscence happens when you get together with someone and intentionally pull up and talk about fun, positive, or meaningful memories. I was on the phone with a friend last week and did a bit of this and it was nice. Now I have memories of us remembering our shared positive memories.
  • Make a list of positive memories. After making the list, transport yourself to reminisce on one of the memories. You can do this by yourself. Retrieve the memory. Play it back in your mind. Explore it. Feel it. Let your brain elaborate on the details.
  • Celebrate good news longer than you would. This is easy. You need to track/observe for a positive message or news in your life that feels good. Then, let your mind linger on it. Notice how you feel. What parts of the news are especially meaningful and pleasant to you? Extend and celebrate the good news.
  • Notice and observe beauty. This activity is mostly visual, but you can listen for beautiful sounds and smells too. Let yourself see color, patterns, and nuanced beauty in nature or in art. Linger with that visual and let its pleasant effects be in your eyes, brain, and body. Notice and feel those sensations and thoughts.

As usual, consider making your savoring public. . . and tag us, so we have more things to savor.

Counseling and Psychotherapy Theory and Practice, Happiness, Personal Reflections, Writing

Happiness Homework: Savor Now, Feel Better Later

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Captain America

We all know how to savor chocolate or wine or the cheesecake that tastes like you’ve made it to heaven. When it comes to gustatory experiences, savoring is natural.

Funny thing, savoring successes, beautiful scenery, a poem you hear on the radio, and other potentially positive life experiences often (but not always) feels less natural. That’s too bad, because researchers have repeatedly found that taking a moment to savor the moment in the midst of a busy day can increase happiness and decrease depression. We should try to remember to savor more often.

For this week the plan is for you to pick one savoring assignment from a menu of research-based savoring activities (below). Each of these activities has research support; doing any of them might make you feel significantly more happiness or less depression. Here are your options:

  • Engage in mutual reminiscence. Mutual reminiscence happens when you get together with someone and intentionally pull up and talk about fun, positive, or meaningful memories. I was with my dad last week and did a bit of this and it was nice. Now I have memories of us remembering our shared positive memories.
  • Make a list of positive memories. After making the list, transport yourself to reminisce on one of the memories. You can do this one by yourself. Retrieve the memory. Play it back in your mind. Explore it. Feel it. Let your brain elaborate on the details.
  • Celebrate good news longer than you would. This is easy. You need to track/observe for a positive message or news in your life that feels good. Then, let your mind linger on it. Notice how you feel. What parts of the news are especially meaningful and pleasant to you? Extend and celebrate the good news.
  • Notice and observe beauty. This activity is mostly visual, but you can listen for beautiful sounds too. Let yourself see color, patterns, and nuanced beauty in nature or in art. Linger with that visual and let its pleasant effects be in your eyes, brain, and body. Notice and feel those sensations and thoughts.

As usual, write a short report to Dan and me about your experiences and put it in the appropriate Moodle bin. This report doesn’t need to be long—unless writing it is a pleasant experience for you—in which case, you can linger and write longer.