Tag Archives: Seligman

It’s Okay to Bitch about Bad Things

In my cynical and obstinate heart, when someone like Martin Seligman (or John Sommers-Flanagan) tells me I should think about three good things, I immediately start thinking about three bad things. I like to imagine my own brand of oppositionality as normal or natural . . . but I also recognize there is, and always has been, a twisted and angry part of me unwilling to believe that someone else has anything to offer me on how to live my life. [Note: I know the twisted and angry part of me is NOT the best part of me, but it’s in there nonetheless, and as the Jungians might say, denying and suppressing parts of ourselves usually comes back to bite us in the ass.] [Note: the Jungians don’t actually say anything about getting bitten in the ass; that’s just my blue-collar background translation of what the high-falutin Jungians really mean.]

Ironically, for the first four weeks of the Montana Happiness Challenge, we’ve been prodding and pummeling people with “activities” (a nice word for homework) involving happy songs, witnessing inspiration, happy places, and this week, three good things. If you’re like me, I owe you an apology—I’m sorry about all this damn positivity—especially in the face of a world filled with oppression, war, mass shootings, and destructive politics.

The point and purpose of our positive psychology assignments is not to imply that you shouldn’t bitch about bad things in your life or scary things in the world. Please do that. You should. There’s plenty to bitch about. I’d get into my own bitching right now, but the main point of the Montana Happiness Challenge is to encourage people (including cranky old me) to intentionally create space and time for positive thoughts.

The idea that we should focus more on the positive is neither rocket science nor news flash. The bummer of reality includes the fact that most humans find it easier and more natural to bitch about the bad things than remind themselves of the good things. Remembering that there’s something (or anything) positive in the world or in our lives is hard work.

Feel free to bitch about that too.  

If you’re doing the three good things activity, you may find yourself tempted to list your 17 most recent bad things. That might be the unique twisted and angry part of you pushing back on this silly and not so silly assignment. If so, the twisted and angry part of me would just like to say, either, “Welcome to my world” or “Come on, get your shit together, do the effing assignment, and even though it feels like bragging, post it on social media for all the world to see.”

Have a great day, and be sure to bitch and moan as you please.

#MHPHappinessChallenge #MontanaHappiness

 

Three Good Things: Martin Seligman’s Signature Positive Psychology Intervention

This week, for the Montana Happiness Challenge, we’re encouraging participants to experiment with Martin Seligman’s “Three Good Things” technique. Three good things (TGT) is an evidence-based positive psychology intervention. For example, six months of twice-weekly TGT has been shown to decrease burnout in nurses (Luo et al., 2019) and four weeks of unguided internet-based TGT reduced insomnia in adults (Sato et al., 2022). In Seligman’s (Seligman et al., 2005) original research, TGT had positive effects on mood and depression.  

Like everything, TGT is not one-size fits all. You should use it in any way that works for you. You can start with Seligman’s instructions, and riff on it from there. For me, I like it best at 4am, when I wake up and my brain seems preoccupied with depressing things. If you want to listen to me talking about TGT, here’s a 5+ minute video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45fsZMDMPOQ

If you want to read the long and winding version of this happiness activity, I’ve pasted it below the references. If not, just jump right in, try it out, and post your thoughts and reactions on your favorite social media platform.

References

Luo, Y., Li, H., Plummer, V., Cross, W. M., Lam, L., Guo, Y., . . . Zhang, J. (2019). An evaluation of a positive psychological intervention to reduce burnout among nurses. Archives of Psychiatric Nursing, 33(6), 186-191. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.apnu.2019.08.004

Sato, D., Sekizawa, Y., Sutoh, C., Hirano, Y., Okawa, S., Hirose, M., . . . Shimizu, E. (2022). Effectiveness of unguided internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy and the three good things exercise for insomnia: 3-arm randomized controlled trial. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 24(2), 1-17. doi:https://doi.org/10.2196/28747

Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.60.5.410