Tag Archives: Group

The Power of Language

Language is powerful, but sometimes subtle in its influence. Last week in Group class I talked about using psychoeducation to teach people the power of language. As an example, I mentioned the work of Isolina Ricci, and the best post-divorce book ever, Mom’s House, Dad’s House. Ricci tells separated or divorced parents they should change the words they use to refer to their “Ex.” Because “Ex” refers to the former relationship with a romantic partner, it gets to the heart of how people use language to live in the past. Ricci says that we should use “My children’s Mom” or “My child’s Dad” because doing so accurately describes the current relationships. Years ago, I taught her language-based principles in the divorce education courses offered through Families First.

In a class-based group, my students brought up that perhaps we should shift from language that identifies others as “racist” to describing them as “people with racist tendencies.” I was happy my students were grappling with the influence of language. . . and was reminded of my first encounter when I really learned about the power of language and labels.

While in the University of Montana library about 4 decades ago, I recall reading something by Gordon Allport. Given it was so long ago, the memory is surprisingly vivid. Sadly, I can’t conjure up the reference. What I recall is Allport describing something like this:

First, we say, John behaves nervously.

Later, it becomes, John is nervous or anxious.

Eventually, we diagnose John: John has an anxiety disorder.

Then, we diagnose everyone similar to John, and put the disorder first: Anxiety disordered youth, like John, are more likely to. . .

In the end, we’ve inserted a trait-problem in John, without consideration of the context of his initial anxiety or the specific rate of anxiety associated with his so-called “anxiety disorder.” And then we repeat this description until the problem is fully placed inside John (and others) and rarely question that presumption.

This process begs many questions. Is the anxiety really located inside John, as if it were a personality trait or a mental disorder? Where did John’s anxiety originate? If John lived years in a frightening setting, should he be blamed and labeled for having anxiety symptoms? Might it be normal for John to expect that something bad is likely to happen?

The tendency for external observers to see behaviors or symptoms in others, and then insert the behaviors and symptoms inside of those they observe is so ubiquitous that in social/cognitive psychology, they named it the “Fundamental Attribution Error.” But even that language isn’t quite right.

Fundamental attribution error is the tendency to attribute the behaviors of others as representing a “trait” or underlying disposition in them (e.g., racist). Not surprisingly, at the same time, people also tend to attribute their own behaviors to situational factors (e.g., I was more judgmental than usual, because I was a bad mood and hadn’t slept well). To use language more precisely, the fundamental attribution error might be better described as a “common” phenomenon, instead of fundamental. And, of course, that tendency is not always in error. Maybe the better terminology would be “Common misattribution tendency.” Put more simply: We tend to blame others’ behavior on them. How common is that? Very common.

This is all very heady stuff, as is often the case when we dive into constructive language and narrative therapy principles. It tends to be easier for people to change and to believe in the possibility of people changing when we use person-first language and say things like, “engaged in racist behaviors” or “exhibited signs of anxiety,” instead of using firmly constructed attributions.  

Lately, in this blog I’ve been riffing with excerpts from our Clinical Interviewing textbook. Below, I’ve inserted another section from Clinical Interviewing. This excerpt is about using bias-free language in psychological reports.

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Using Bias-Free Language

No matter how careful and sensitive writers try to be, it’s still possible to offend someone. Writing with sensitivity and compassion toward all potential readers is difficult, but mandatory.

The publication manual of the American Psychological Association (APA, 2020, chapter 5) provides guidance regarding bias-free language. Additional details are provided in the APA’s Inclusive Language Guidelines (https://www.apa.org/about/apa/equity-diversity-inclusion/language-guidelines?_ga=2.54630952.2057453815.1669179921-716730077.1592238042).

Avoiding bias and demeaning attitudes is mostly straightforward. In addition to following the APA’s guidance and writing for a multidimensional audience, the best advice we have is to encourage you to conceptualize and write your intake report transparently and collaboratively. This means:

  1. At the beginning and toward the end of your session, speak directly with your client about the content you plan to include in the report.
  2. Rather than surprising clients with a diagnosis, be explicit about your recommended diagnosis and rationale.
  3. Discuss your treatment plan openly with clients. Doing so serves the dual purpose of providing clients with advance information and getting them invested in treatment.
  4. If you’re not clear about how your client would like to be addressed in the report (Mr., Ms., gender identity, ethnicity, etc.), ask directly. Avoid mis-labeling or mis-gendering clients in a psychological report. If you’re working with clients who have physical disabilities, check to see if person-first or disability-first language is preferred.

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I’ve been trying to keep the word-length of these blogs reasonable, and so if you’re interested in a bit more on this topic, this link will give you Practice and Reflection 8.4: “Person-First or Identity-First Language” from, of course, the Clinical Interviewing text.

Storming: My Favorite Group Stage (at least for today)

In group class, we’re covering content related to group stage called “Storming.” The Coreys’, who’ve written about and led many groups, call this the “Transition” stage. During the storming or transition stage, group members start to push against or question group norms and/or the group leader’s authority. Not to be trite, but like roses, no matter what name it, the smell and tension of storming feels the same.

I’ve been waiting and watching for storming to emerge within my class. I know group process unfolds during class groups, just as it unfolds in psychoeducational, counseling, and psychotherapy groups. I thought I might ignite storming, by asking my counseling graduate students to focus on positive psychology. I did get a little push-back from students who emailed me about their “mixed” feelings about positive psychology. My response was to share that I also hold mixed feelings about positive psychology, along with mixed feelings about psychoanalytic theory, behavioral theory, CBT, feminist theory, acceptance and commitment therapy, and every other theory or approach I can think of.

This past week an ever-so-minor edge of a storm found its way into class. After class started, one student expressed negative feelings about a reading I’d assigned, noting that she thought the article was “shaming” to mandated clients. As often occurs with storming, I had an immediate and complex emotional and impulse-ridden response. Rather than acting on my emotions or defending the reading, I managed to welcome the critique. When I say “managed” I mean to communicate that IMHO, welcoming critiques is not easy, and maybe not natural. A few minutes later, I acknowledged that although I wished everyone would love all the class readings, I also wanted people to feel they had permission to not love the readings and speak openly about their opinions. Later that evening, I received an email takeaway from the student who didn’t like the reading. As you may recall, one of my group class assignments is for students to email me two takeaways in the days following class. Because she expressed what I want to communicate better than I can, here’s her email (shared with her permission).

Hey John,

My biggest takeaway from today was watching your modeling of working with storming, both with myself and [with another student]. The way that you allowed for expression of our feelings, were vulnerable with your own, and then used the material to create more conversations, norms, etc., was really helpful to see. I also want to share on this topic that when my oldest kiddo and I were talking this morning about what our days were looking like, I was talking to her about my feelings about an article we read for class that I didn’t agree with, and that I was going to bring it up in class. And her response was, “You’re going to tell your professor that?!?!” She was shocked that I felt like I could say that in class, and I wanted to thank you for creating a space where I felt like that was alright.

My other takeaway is your quote from class today, “We want to give people the chance to be interesting.” I think there are so few opportunities that people have to be seen and heard by others in a way that is meaningful. Coupled with the big, sort of inherent opportunity as a group leader to take up ‘too much space,’ your advice feels like a really important nugget that I want to take with me into leading groups in the future.

What I love best about this email (and I love a lot of it) is my student’s anecdote about her daughter’s reaction: “You’re going to tell your professor that?!?!” And what I love best about that is—consistent with other conversations we’ve been having in class—we should not run groups like cults. As leaders, professors, administrators, clergy, and politicians, we need to be open to independence of thought and listen to unique perspectives. What I think is not the truth and what I value is not necessarily the correct moral philosophy for everyone.

Today. . . I am very happy to have handled a little storming with acceptance and openness. Tomorrow may be different. But for today, I get to feel the good feelings of being able to live my best group leader values—even if it didn’t involve me being right about anything.  

Teaching Group: The Case of Zoey and Adlerian Theory

Group class is rolling downstream so fast that I feel I’m riding down Niagara Falls in a barrel. Well, that might be me being dramatic. My personal drama partly explains why I’m so late blogging about week 2 of group class.

Much of the focus of week 2 was on Yalom’s 11 therapeutic factors. I think they’re subtle, powerful, and sneaky insightful. When I teach the 11 factors, I try to give as many concrete examples as possible. Here’s one:

I got asked to run two in-school groups for 5th graders. I had twins in group (one in each group). These were difficult groups. I had let the principal assign the members. I know, bad idea, especially because I knew better; pre-group screening was both optimal and ethical. I share this story because it’s a good one, but also because I can acknowledge that I make mistakes and am still a work in progress.

The twins identified themselves as evil and good. They seemed to be living up to their self-proclaimed identities. The evil twin (let’s call her Zoey) got “removed” from the first three group meetings. My rule was to remove students and send them back to class if they violated the group rules. Zoey was intermittently making aggressive physical contact. She ripped up some “Disney cards” I had given all the students, and threw them at me. In each case, I just said, “Zoey, you’ve broken a rule and you need to go back to your class.” There were small protests, but she would eventually stand up, leave group and go back to class.

The other part of the rule was to let anyone who had been removed from group back in group if they presented me with an apology note. Zoey became an efficient apology note writer.

Dear Mr. Jhon,

I am sorry I pushed Amber. I won’t push Amber again. Can I come back to group?

Zoey

At the beginning of session 4, as Zoey walking into group, I impulsively said something like, “Zoey! You are in so much trouble. You are in so much trouble that you have to serve our group treats today.” Zoey stared at me, sat down, and began her new journey to becoming a very nice, polite, and wonderful group member.

I repeated my “You’re in so much trouble Zoey” opening the next week. And the next. Zoey never again pushed anyone, she didn’t argue, she became shockingly pleasant and cooperative.

At the end of group, Zoey wrote me a “Good bye” note. It read:

Dr. Mr. Jhon,

I had fun in group. Thank you for coming to our school. I will miss you.

Zoey

With this story (and many others), we get a chance to glimpse the complexities of human behavior. Zoey’s story also gives us a chance to apply counseling theory to group dynamics. The theory that comes to mind for Zoey is related to Dreikurs’ and Adler’s ideas about the 4 psychological goals of children’s misbehavior. You can read about why children (and adults) misbehave here: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2017/06/10/why-children-misbehave-the-adlerian-perspective/. But in group, the focus is less on the 4 goals, and more on the two overarching factors that will, most of the time, mitigate and sometimes eliminate the misbehavior. What are these overarching factors?

A sense of belonging

Feeling useful

With Zoey, I think she suddenly felt useful. She also got proactive attention in a sort of sarcastic message of her being in trouble. I thought the “You’re in big trouble” part was pretty clever. But the more important part was to give her a job. . . to help her feel useful . . . and along with that came belonging.

In some ways, the Zoey intervention was an individual intervention that helped her function in a group. That was important because Zoey had never been successful in any group. She hadn’t been on a team, in a choir, and she rarely succeeded in making it through the school day without an interpersonal incident. “Graduating” from our group, was a big deal for Zoey.

Beyond the Adlerian principles, the evil twin scenario includes glimpses of Yalom’s therapeutic factors. Can you identify which ones? Here’s the list:

  1. Instillation of hope
  2. Universality
  3. Imparting information
  4. Altruism
  5. The corrective recapitulation of the family group
  6. Development of socializing techniques
  7. Imitative behavior
  8. Interpersonal learning
  9. Group cohesiveness
  10. Catharsis
  11. Existential factors

I’m heading into class momentarily, and so I’ll add the following observation quickly.

At this point, my group students still think I know what I’m doing. We’ve engaged in several whole group and subgroup (fishbowl) group activities where I’m the leader. One student referred to me as “smooth.” As much as I like that compliment, I also recognize that me being smooth is completely related to the students being engaged and cooperative. Maybe we’re still in the honeymoon phase of our group class. Maybe the storming is yet to come? Maybe everyone feels they belong, and that they’re useful. I do work at helping everyone feel belonging and usefulness.

As the instructor, I know that referencing that storming can happen and articulating, in advance, how I usually address storming, can make storming less likely. None of the students are especially keen to be the first stormers. Everyone (probably) knows that no matter the nature and content of the storming, I will try to meet it with acceptance and an opportunity for the stormer to “tell us more” while taking responsibility for their feelings. Nevertheless, sooner or later, I will want to prompt them to storm, rather than hold in feelings of discontent.

One last thought. I am not always smooth. I am not always competent. I am not always emotionally centered and ready to be a good group counselor. Given those realities, I’m also aware that it will be even more important (than being smooth) for me to acknowledge my mistakes and be vulnerable enough for students to accept me as a role model who isn’t just interested in being smooth, but is also interested in being vulnerable.

Thanks for reading! More to come soon. Here are the Week 2 powerpoints:

John

Teaching Group Counseling: Class 1

I feel sorry for Mick Jagger. In that one song he lamented over and over about not getting no satisfaction. If he would just have asked me, I could have helped. I would have told him exactly how to get satisfaction. I’d have said, “Hey Mick. All you have to do to get satisfaction is to teach a course on group counseling to about 34 fantastic counseling students from the University of Montana, along with having a couple of teaching assistants.”

That’s it, Mick. Even you can achieve satisfaction. Getting satisfaction from teaching group counseling might even inspire you to write a new song titled “So Much Satisfaction.” Here are some lyrics for you to consider (no need to thank me Mick):

I can’t stop getting, satisfaction,

cause I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and I tried

I keep getting so, much satisfaction. . . satisfaction. . . satisfaction.

No doubt all you readers are now on the edges of your seats and experiencing bated breath while waiting to hear how group class #1 went. Well, here’s the answer. Great. Awesome. Exciting. Fun. And satisfying. . . so satisfying.

During our introduction activities, everyone was engaged, funny, profound, humble, and always interesting. During my lecture time, I talked about group types and made my “we need to stretch ourselves to listen with acceptance to everyone” speech. One response to my little speech was genuine concern about being able to be accepting with clients who, in their presentation, are harsh, judgmental, and politically and socially extreme in their values. This was a challenging comment/question, because of how incredibly hard it is to listen with compassion and empathy when someone is expressing extremely unkind and judgmental thoughts and beliefs.

Had I been a better group counselor in the moment, what I might have done was to push the question/comment out to the group. On the other hand, I knew that I was probably the one in the room with the most experiences of this type. I was immediately (in Class #1) thrown into an Irv Yalom-esque group leader dilemma. Should I respond with my thoughts. . . or should I deflect the question/scenario to the group.

Yalom also emphasizes that group leaders are, by default, the group role-models and norm-setters. That being the case (and given that this is a graduate course with 36 “group participants”), I chose to throw myself and a couple stories into my response.

The stories—working with parents who insisted on not accepting their child’s sexuality/gender and working with fathers who, not infrequently, would call me variations on the theme of “pansy-ass”—emphasized the strategy of listening first, of thanking parents, clients, students, for their openness, and then highlighting the truth that we cannot lead with education (no matter how much we think it’s needed). Instead, we listen with acceptance and empathy until there’s an opportunity to “broaden” the parent/client/student’s perspective.

I’ve put the word “broaden” in quotations because it’s related to what I want to share next: The Weekly Class Takeaway Email Assignment.

The Takeaway Assignment

This past year, I’ve been using the weekly takeaways assignment to give me a clearer sense of what the students are experiencing in our classes together. For this assignment, students send me, within 5 days of the lecture/class time, an email describing their top two class takeaways. The takeaways assignment also allows me to evade the possibility of an AI generated response.

Typically, and this was the case with week one of the group class, student responses are consistent with what I thought they would takeaway. However, the most exciting part of reading the takeaways is when students weave their own personalized perceptions into their responses; this gives me a glimpse not only of what they’re thinking, but how the content I’m presenting on is being received and interpreted by students. I especially like it when students have reflections that surprise me, or include content that I had not expected, because . . . that’s when the learning goes both directions. 

In their takeaways, a couple students used the word “broaden” to discuss their perceptions of my response to the “How can we handle very judgmental clients?” question. I hadn’t remembered using the word, but it felt perfect—especially in the context of group counseling. One of the big goals of group counseling—again, I’m channeling Yalom—is to hear, see, feel, and experience the reflected appraisals of ourselves that come from other group members. Because we cannot always (or maybe ever) see ourselves as others see us, experiencing how other group members experience us is gold. When it’s working, the group offers us other perspectives that can broaden or expand our own narrow views of ourselves and the world.

Among many of my takeaways is that I loved the use of the word “broaden” to describe what good group counseling can give us. With broadened perspectives we can grow the depth, breadth, and accuracy of our perceptions of ourselves and others.

Here’s the ppt deck for last Tuesday’s class:

Until next week,

JSF   

Teaching Group Counseling: Preparation

For the first time in seven years, I’m teaching group counseling this semester. This forces me to think about, “What’s the latest scoop on teaching group counseling?” I’ve been reading and talking and gaining information, but if anyone out there has particular insights to share with me, please do.

In my prep, I’ve decided that there’s tons of content out there, in professional journals, books, book chapters, and everywhere else I look. Nevertheless, to break free from the oppression of content, one of my first decisions is to go experiential. This isn’t much different from seven years ago, but my plan is to be even MORE experiential.

Based on previous experiences teaching group, talking with faculty, and talking with students, the Group course is a place with a complex mix of anxiety, vulnerability, and potential conflict. To manage this exciting and challenging mix, I’ve got several plans.

  1. After my infamous “Group is open” anecdote, I will share my philosophy on brain development and counselor skill development. In the Moodle shell, I wrote: “Hey Everybody, Welcome to our group counseling course at U of M. I love group counseling and I love teaching group counseling. More than any other approach, group work requires that we maintain an attitude of acceptance and hold the statements and disclosures that others make with sensitivity and grace. One big goal in this class is for all of us to continue to grow those parts of our brain that makes us excellent listeners. Mostly, we need to let go of other parts of our brain that wants to debate, argue, and express our opinions. I look forward to this adventure and journey with you. See you Tuesday, John SF”
  2. TBH, I’m not sure how my philosophy will fly with students . . . but sharing it fits with Irvin Yalom’s mantra that the group leader is instantly the primary norm setter and role model. Along with my philosophy, I will also disclose some of my anxieties and insecurities. Yes . . . even after 40+ years as a mental health professional, I still feel the creep of imposter anxiety.
  3. Then we’ll circle up and jump into two rounds of experiential introductions. I do two rounds of experiential introductions to give students a chance to “feel” the difference between more structured and less structured group process. I’ve done this before; it feels like a relatively safe, fun, and process-oriented opening.
  4. Then, in the spirit of Yalom’s “self-reflective loop,” we will debrief and debrief some more.
  5. After exiting the experiential introductions, we’ll stay in the circle, review the course syllabus (assignments), and then talk about our planned feedback process. Once, when I asked Allen Ivey for his best advice on learning counseling skills, he said he could summarize his advice in six words: “Practice, practice, practice, feedback, feedback, feedback.” I thought that was a pretty cool answer. You can check out my ideas about feedback on a previous blog post: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/2020/08/18/guidelines-for-giving-and-receiving-feedback/
  6. The last part of class #1 (time permitting) will be me reviewing a few group counseling basics (e.g., group types, group stages, cultural humility, under-confidence, overconfidence, and the wonder and narrowness of the dialectic of lived experience. Should be a blast.

I’m hoping to blog every week about my Group Counseling class and the teaching and learning experience. Of course, that will depend on my time management skills. I’m thinking maybe I’ll coax one of my students into running a psychoeducational group on time management—and then maybe I’ll actually achieve my weekly Group Counseling goals.

Here’s a screenshot of my feedback prompt (aka ppt slide).