One of my favorite old New Yorker cartoons, by Tom Cheney, features a man in a cap standing on a street corner next to a paper shredding machine. He’s smoking. A hand-written sign leans against his shredder; it reads,

It took me months to “get it.” Cheney’s man on the street is telling us to shred our ambitions, and not look back.

But why?

Probably because, in a hung-over stupor or on a misinformed high, we set a bunch of DUMB New Year’s resolutions.

Despite Cheney’s cynical irreverence (which I appreciate very much), the evidence on goal-setting is extremely positive. We do better when we set goals. The problem is, much like Cheney’s man on the street, most of us set ill-conceived, unrealistic, poor goals and double-down on that with ill-conceived, unrealistic, and poor plans—or no plans at all, which is another bad option).

We could be smarter. . . at least when it comes to goal-setting and planning.

There is literally a digital ton of information on the internet on what has been affectionately named, SMART goals. If you don’t know what they are do a search and learn. For brevity, and to keep our focus on happiness, I’m limiting my goal-setting advice to three main points.

First, set goals to increase positive behavioral practices in your life. Avoid setting goals to reduce or eliminate negative or undesirable behaviors. Turns out, usually we have greater success adding positive behaviors and using them to “crowd out” our negative behaviors. An example: Instead of thinking “I’ll stop procrastinating,” set a goal to get started on new projects within 24 hours (or sooner) of putting them on your list.

Second, set goals that are completely within your control. Don’t set goals for someone else, “I’m going to get my son to clean his room.” In that case, your goal might be to develop the best plan possible for trying to get your son to clean his room, while recognizing that him cleaning is slightly outside of your direct control.

Third, keep in mind that goal-setting—although a highly effective personal growth strategy—can be fraught. Imagine the athlete or musician who focuses exclusively on perfection. Although perfect performances may be aspirational, when reality sets in and the performance is less than perfect—as it always will be—frustration and disappointment ensue. Realistic and SMART goal-setting, along with self-compassion for facing failure, is a healthier road to success.

For this activity, identify a SMART, achievable goal within your control. Then, in contrast to how Americans approach New Year’s Resolutions, develop an excellent plan for accomplishing your goals. Here are some planning tips:

1. Our brains are imperfect and so you should develop a sticky-note or smart-phone reminder system to aid you in remembering to implement your plan.
2. Be very aware of the small and simple behaviors that lead toward your goal. For example, if healthier eating is your goal, when you drink a green smoothie instead of eating pound cake, stop, and immediately give yourself a “high-five” or anything physical to celebrate your very small accomplishment. Even better, say “Yesssssss!” or “Oh yeah!” aloud. Your self-reinforcement should be immediate and noticeable. If your goal is to get a school paper or work project done on time (instead of procrastinating) do a little dance, clap your hands, or sing a few lines from a celebratory song right after you power up your computer and open the document you want to work on. You may need to keep doing this every 5 to 15 minutes to give your brain the neurochemical push to make avoiding procrastination a habit.
3. Link your challenging “goal” behaviors with something pleasant. The best example I ever heard of was a student in my happiness class who developed and sustained a running routine because she would only let herself listen to her favorite music when she was running.
4. Get a goal-setting partner. Usually, we all do better with social support.
5. Consider going public with your goal and plans. Usually, we all do better with social support.

Because there’s evidence that going public with well-thought-out goals and plans can enhance goal attainment, to the extent that you’re comfortable, please share your goals/plans on social media, encourage others to do so, and support them in their goal-setting efforts.

In the meantime, happy goal-setting!