Good morning.

Tammy, Dylan, and I are on our way to Polson, MT this morning to provide a 6-hour workshop on Counseling Youth.

The workshop title, “Tough Kids, Cool Counseling,” is a remnant of days gone by. Back in 1996, as Rita and I were driving from Missoula to Absarokee, we came up with that title, which we published as a book in 1997. The second edition came out in 2007.

For many years, we argued about who came up with what we considered a very nice title. I thought it was my idea. Rita thought it was hers. We were both equally shocked at each others’ claims. Have you ever had that experience with a romantic partner?

But few years after publishing the second edition, I gave up all claims to the title, because I suddenly realized that the title was neither nice nor cool. I realized that the title constructed youth problems as “in them.” The title labeled the youth as “tough,” in essence, blaming them for their problems.

For the past two decades, I’ve seen youth problems differently. Now, I avoid ever using the phrase “Tough kids.” Instead, I advocate for framing the issues as “kids in tough life and personal situations.” I’ve even decided that going to counseling is just another tough situation that many youth are forced into.

So why am I still using this title? I use it because I like to make the point–after using the phrase Tough Kids for the first five minutes–that I’ve stopped using it and that I won’t use it for the rest of the presentation and that we should all give it up together, and not even THINK about tough kids.

With that fun anecdote out of the way, I’m looking forward to a fun day of mutual learning with therapists who work for the Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes. And. . .here’s a pdf of the very long powerpoint slide deck.