Monthly Archives: July 2012

Parenting

American Parenting—In Honor of Independence Day

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It’s too dry this year to set off fireworks in Montana and so instead I’ll be blogging about parenting in honor of Independence Day.

The surge in interest and media coverage of Tiger parenting and French parenting this past year has been a great thing. It’s not that I think American parents should go out and adopt either of these styles (although I like Asia and France), but the more we talk and learn about parenting, the better. To keep parenting in the focus for both my blog readers (Hi Rylee:), every day this week I’ll be posting a blog on American parenting. Actually, this is more about Montana parenting.

 Montanans embrace values of independence, generosity, honesty, and hard work. In the spirit of these values—especially the hard work value—every day this week I’m featuring a different “Homework Assignment for Parents.” These assignments are adapted from the book How to Listen so Parents will Talk and Talk so Parents will Listen.

If you like these homework assignments, feel free to use them. If you like them a lot, go to the Amazon page and “Like” the book (thanks for doing that). And, of course, if you love what you’re reading you can buy the book at Amazon too. http://www.amazon.com/How-Listen-Parents-Will-Talk/dp/1118012968/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341322827&sr=1-6&keywords=how+to+listen+so+parents+will+talk+and+talk+so+parents+will+listen

Here’s Parent Homework Assignment installment #1.

Creating Special Family Times

Special time for families can be formal (as described in the Special Time Tip Sheet) or less formal.

This homework assignment is for parents who want to work on creating spontaneous special time for family connection.

Idea 1: Be a keen observer of what your child loves. This can be as simple as noticing when and why your child smiles. If you watch for these happy or joyful moments, you’ll undoubtedly be able to generate ideas for how to help create more happiness and joy.

Idea 2: Ask yourself a few questions to get in touch with how you might create more special times. These questions might include:

1. ‘‘What do you and your child naturally do for fun together?’’

2. ‘‘When do you and your child find yourselves enjoying each other?’’

3. ‘‘What would be a fun or interesting activity that you and your child could do together?’’

4. ‘‘What does your child like to do on his or her own or with his or her friends?’’ ‘‘Is it possible for you to be involved in any of these . . . even as a supportive person to create the situation?’’

5. ‘‘Do you play any family games together with your child?’’

6. ‘‘What did you do for fun when you were younger?’’ ‘‘Is there any way to smoothly (without big expectations) introduce your child to something you love to do? (for example, playing cards, fly-fishing, second-hand shopping, arts and crafts, etc.)

Idea 3: Every once in a while drop everything and focus on your child. Although it’s not healthy for you to ‘‘be there’’ for your child and cater to his or her every desire, it is important to occasionally stop whatever you’re doing to give your child your undivided attention. This might involve turning off the television, closing your laptop, putting down the newspaper, or powering down your telephone. The point is that you want to give your child the clear message that she or he is your number one priority. This message will help you put a deposit in your child’s emotional bank account.

Idea 4: Speak up about your positive feelings. In the harried pace of American life, it’s easy to forget to add in the little positive expressions to the people you love. To counter this forgetful tendency, you should make a commitment to say ‘‘I love you’’ to your child every day. Perhaps even more important are spontaneous statements about how you ‘‘like’’ your child. Try that out. When you see something you like about your child’s personality or behavior, just say, ‘‘I like who you are’’ or ‘‘I like it when you do that.’’ Saying you like your child can convey even more important meaning to them than saying ‘‘I love you.’’ In addition, be clear about wanting to spend time with your child by saying things like, ‘‘I want to spend some time with you,’’ and then schedule it if you need to.

These are four simple ideas for creating special time in your family. Take a minute to think about these ideas and then improve on them by creating new and better ideas that fit your family and help you intentionally have more fun and more special times together.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Listen-Parents-Will-Talk/dp/1118012968/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341322827&sr=1-6&keywords=how+to+listen+so+parents+will+talk+and+talk+so+parents+will+listen

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Counseling and Psychotherapy Theory and Practice

Is Solution-Focused Therapy as Powerfully Effective as Solution-Focused Therapists Would Have Us Believe?

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[This Blog is adapted from a previous blog posted on psychotherapy.net]

Solution-focused therapy is very popular. But is it effective?

Beginning in the 1980s, solution-focused therapy hit the mainstream and many mental health providers (and third-party payers) continue to sing the praises of its brevity and effectiveness. For example, in a 2009 book chapter Sara Smock claimed, “. . . there are numerous studies, several reviews of the research, and a few meta-analyses completed that showcase [solution-focused therapy’s] effectiveness.”

Really?

Solution-focused counseling and psychotherapy has deep roots in post-modern constructive theory. As Michael Hoyt once famously articulated, this perspective is based on “the construction that we are constructive.” In other words, solution-focused therapists believe clients and therapists build their own realities.

Ever since 2003, my personal construction of reality has been laced with skepticism. That was the year President George W. Bush included 63 references to “weapons of mass destruction” in his State of the Union address (I’m estimating here, using my own particular spin, but that’s the nature of a constructive perspective). As it turned out, there were no weapons of mass destruction, but President Bush’s “If I say it enough, it will become reality” message had a powerful effect on public perception.

From the constructive or solution-focused perspective, perception IS reality. Remember that. It applies to the solution-focused therapist’s view of solution-focused therapy effectiveness.

I recall hearing many presenters tell me that solution-focused therapy is powerful and effective. Or maybe it was powerfully effective. And I recall reading books and articles that similarly referred to the power and effectiveness of solution-focused therapy. Now we could just take their word for it, but I still can’t help but wonder: “What does the scientific research say about the efficacy of solution-focused therapy anyway?”

Here’s a quick historical tour of scientific reality.

  • In 1996, Scott Miller and colleagues noted: “In spite of having been around for ten years, no well-controlled, scientifically sound outcome studies on solution-focused therapy have ever been conducted or published in any peer-reviewed professional journal.”
  • In 2000, Gingerich & Eisengart identified 15 studies and after analyzing the research, they stated: “. . . we cannot conclude that [solution-focused brief therapy] has been shown to be efficacious.”
  • In 2008, Johnny Kim reported on 22 solution-focused outcomes studies. He noted that the only studies to show statistical significance were 12 studies focusing on internalizing disorders. Kim reported an effect size of d = .26 for these 12 studies [this is a rather small effect size].
  • In 2009, Jacqueline Corcoran and Vijayan Pillai concluded: “. . . practitioners should understand there is not a strong evidence basis for solution-focused therapy at this point in time.”

Now don’t get me wrong. As a mental health professional and professor, I believe solution-focused techniques and approaches can be very helpful . . . sometimes. However, my scientific training stops me from claiming that solution-focused approaches are highly effective. Although solution-focused techniques can be useful, psychotherapy often requires long term work that focuses not only on strengths, but problems as well.

So what’s the bottom line?

While in a heated argument with an umpire, Yogi Berra once said: “I wouldn’t have seen it if I hadn’t believed it!” This is, of course, an apt description of the powerful confirmation bias that affects everyone. We can’t help but look for evidence to support our pre-existing beliefs . . . which is one of the reasons why even modernist scientific research can’t always be trusted.  But this is why we bother doing the research. We need to step back from our constructed and enthusiastic realities and try to see things as objectively as possible, recognizing that absolute objectivity is impossible.

Despite strong beliefs to the contrary, there were no weapons of mass destruction. And currently, the evidence indicates that solution-focused therapy is NOT powerfully effective.